From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search
Unfgrhunhz ymbrwouyl btn auf hrrrmbnd Bavaristan
Independent Republic of Bavaristan
Flag of Bavaristan
Motto: "All potato and no play makes Bavaristani a fat boy."
Languages - Bavaristani (wrnstl and nuurkb dialects)
- Esperanto (was spoken by 2.000 people of Esperantanaian ethnic minority)
- Gibberish
Capital Kattarrakktta
Government 100% niggaz
President Bobby Vitale
National Hero Bobby Vitale
Ray Charles
National Anthem Krntm bbnrthijzzlk rttum wqojzhtro! - Watch out, niggaz shootin'!
National sport obesity
National meal potato
National drink potato-enchanced potatoes
Independence declared: february, 10, 1996 ;
lost: february, 11, 1996
Currency the Bavaristani convertible mnhrtvzzel
Exports potatoes, fog, sperm, killer-sheep, unanderstandable gibbering
Imports vacuum, beard, elephants

Bavaristan (the Independent Republic of Bavaristan) was probably the shortest living country in the world. It was placed in the middle of Europe, and was discovered in the XV century by dutch explorer named Slobodan Milošević, and quickly after it was conquered by Germany. Made mostly of high mountains, the vast majority of population was black, which is why all the other European people had hated them and why Germans had been using them as slaves, a fairly cheap workforce. It was until the fall of 1995, when local people got fed up with German occupiers and, led by their first national hero - Bobby Vitale, started fighting for their freedom. They fought well, and you can read about their warriors' bravery in their epic songs ('Bavaristan, my home land', 'Oh, Bobby, killing Germans - it's your hobby'). The last squad of German soldiers left Bavaristan on february, 3, 1996, and the independence was about to be proclaimed. It was done so on february, 10, 1996, with famous Bobby Vitale as a president. But, then, the day after, the great inhumanity was done to the human race and mother earth. Canadian soldiers, who were then at war with Fiji, while marching to their enemy's land, just like that picked up and dropped this country and all it's inhabitants into the Chinese sea. People were so proud of their newly-independent homeland, that they refused to leave it and rescue themselves. So, more than 300.000 black people died on that day - february, 11, 1996. All, but one. Once again - Bobby Vitale (not black, white), who was back then in visit to Tuvalu. It's the sad story of Bavaristan.


An average, morbidly obese Bavaristani woman, sporting an imported beard

Bavaristan was among the greatest fog producers and exporters in the world.

Bavaristan is also the homeland of Pamela Anderson.

Most people forgot about this ex-country.

A Bavaristanian, Gnarls Brrr, invented the 3-colour ballpen in 1969.

It had one of the strongest soccer (football) squads in their region (they lost 5-4 to Mongolia in their very first and very last game).

It was a porners' heaven (their one and only president, and the only person who survived the Canadian-Fijian war, Bobby Vitale, today is a succesful adult actor).

About 99% Bavaristani population were morbidly obese, because their natiolal, and their ONLY meal was a large ammount of potato.