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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about BeOS.

“We chose plan A instead of plan Be!”

~ Steve Jobs on BeOS

“When I worked for Apple, the Amiga did twice the stuff the Mac could do at half the price. It scared the shit out of us. When Apple fired me as CEO, I started up Be Inc to create BeOS and hired Ex-Apple and Ex-Amiga developers to combine the best of the Mac and Amiga into one OS. BeOS was the best OS ever made, but then the person reading this article didn't buy it, so BeOS failed.”

~ Jean-Louis Gassée on BeOS

“You only live twice, BeOS lives three times.”

~ James Bond on BeOS

“Butt end of space.”

~ Tom Hall on BeOS

“A great OS!”

~ Cyan Helkaraxe on BeOS


BeOS is a really unlucky operating system originally made for hobbits by Be Inc. around 1876. It was supposed to take advantage of modern hardware as well as consume lots of resources. No hobbits were interested in BeOS, so in desperation, Be Inc. had to turn to the appletree. The appletree didn't like BeOS either, so in desperation, Be Inc. had to turn to Intel. When Intel didn't like BeOS either, there was no hope left. Towards the end, only a few enthusiastic geeks were enjoying the BeOS multimedia experience. Unfortunately, this wasn't enough for Be Inc. The company was bought by Palm Inc.. The reasons for this are unknown until this day, but rumors claim it had to do with too few people using BeOS. With Be Inc. gone, BeOS was left alone in this dark cruel world until a few good-hearted people adopted BeOS and took it home to live on their computers.

BeOS rises from the ashes[edit]

Soon, BeOS started coming back to life, but it wasn't the same. Times had changed and BeOS could no longer consume that much resources because the computers had become so much more advanced. There was only one option: To make an operating system which looked like, felt like and smelt like BeOS while not being BeOS. It was started under the cryptic name Blue Eyed OS, but when it was discovered that Blue Eyed OS was just a Linux ripoff, it was abandoned.

BeOS returns[edit]

Although it had been abandoned twice in its short life, BeOS refused to give up. A new project was formed to create an operating system which looked like, felt like and smelt like BeOS while not being BeOS, Haiku. And this time it survived for over a month. It went so well that Haiku still exists to this day.