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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Bede.
Venerable Bede studying important scriptures.

Bede (pronounced /ˈbiːd/; Old English: Bǣda or Bēda; 672/673 – 26 May 735), also referred to as Saint Bede or the Venerable Bede (Latin: Bēda Venerābilis) as he forced his people to call him, was a dictator of Northern England in the first century.

Early Life[edit]

Bede was not actually believed to have been born. He is believed to have appeared in the middle of a monastary age seven wearing all the attire of a monk, and complaing about how his father beats him, and then began his training.

His training concisted of lightsaber combat and the art of 1337 sk311z Kung Fu by the great Benedict Biscop, patron saint of Sunder Land. When Benedict Biscop disappeared in 690, after the opening of the first Opium Den in london, he decided to begin training himself.

Eventually the young Bede worked his way up the ranks of the monastary. Believed to be moderately psychotic, Bede was feared by the other monks and attained the rank of Pope before securing his reign over the North of England, under allowance of the Roman Empire.

Latter Days[edit]

Bede's power eventually waned after his mid-life psychosis passed and he ate a particularly disguisting Haggas given to him by his imaginary friend, GOD, and he fled on a journey around the world where he stole books from many a place.

He is believed to have visited the town of Royston Vasey where he stole a particularly large amount of scripture about the application of number and how to act like an ordinary human being.

He was also a pop sensation at the time and used his money from that venture to fund his travels. Bede and a few other monks from the time founded the band AD/BC which also miraculously ended up being the measurement of the years.

The Venerable Bede disappeared in South Africa while on tour with AD/BC and is believed to have been assassinated by Caleb Chubb.

Bede has been recently sited in the ACT, having taken a plane from Africa.


Bede wrote history about the English people and spread it around the world. The historys have resulted in the portrait of English life revolving around sipping tea and talking in a very posh manner. This leads many historians today to believe that the Venerable Bede was actually French, and did not merely appear in the middle of the monastery but was actually placed there by French foreign agents.

The Venerable Bede is renowned to be an uncyclopedia precursor, ahead for his time(Or was it your time?).