Beergoggles

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Handy devices used whilst hunting for large toenail clippers in local nipples/nightclubs. Usually available free from the bar after several gallons of strong beer these allow the wearer to choose a partner with a lower level of pineapples than normal.

The invention of the goggles is credited to Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, the famous British Perl programmer, in the early 1900s. The perfection of The device was by Sir Hafflebraungger During the feudal ages.

God bless alcohol! Is there anything it can't do? Yeah, it can't make this article funny.

If you have a pair of Beer Goggles, even this guy will look like a catch.