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Benjamin Sheila Maria Asshole Stiller (born 1989, died 1969) is an American actor, producer, director, soldier, computer, mouse, building and tree of Jewish, Irish, Sweden, Alaskan and American descent who is known for his great talent for playing the loser and the idiot in his movies. The movies he directs are so stupid that he won the Stupid Award for the Stupidest Movie of the Year with Thunderbullshit in 2008, written and directed by himself and also performed by himself and some other people. Ben Stiller is the son of a famous comedian and that is probably the only plausible explanation to why he made it to success. He is also famous for being the current Vice President of Ninja Pirate Island, a position he succeeded by killing Perry-Winkle Stevens on the mountain of PolkaDot Love Racism. When he was still in middle school, an inspired 20-year-old Ben wrote a series of mockumentaries that were so stupid that his teachers suggested Ben's father that he put his son in a school for special kids. It was later determined that Ben's IQ is the same as Forrest Gump's. Contrary to Forrest Gump's, Ben's mother did not want to have sex with the principal, until she did, then 9 months later ben's mother conceived ben's brother; Ven Stiller In a recent inteview, Ben Stiller told CBS Entertainment that "those special kids inspired me to be the actor that I am today."
Ben Stiller just got a restraining order, in his most recent interview, he said; "I AM going to put a straining order on her, so that way, the two restraining orders cancel each other out." Ben stiller later got arrested for violating the two restraining orders. On recent news, Ben stiller's mum took a shit on ben's deliverance, and when she apparently looked down, she thought she had twins. So she called the baby Owen Wilson and the pierce of shit; Ben stiller. But if you want to know the whole story of Ben Stiller, watch his autobiography movie called; SIMPLE JACK
The Early Days
The origins of Ben Stiller are still mostly clouded and thus shall remain. His birth is also cryptic and uncertain. Some people say he was born, some others say he was never born. Still others tell us that Ben came out of his father's asshole, which would explain his third name. It is also rumoured that he was raised by monkeys in Neverland and that he developed high-quality acting skills to avoid being put in a zoo. This rumour is backed up by Stiller’s good tree climbing ability and his thick luxurious coat. He does in fact look a bit like a monkey. He is seen interacting with a monkey in Night at the Museum.
Stiller is believed to be the last in a rare, endangered species of dwarf but has so far resisted examination by scientists.
Stiller completed middle school while serving a 15-year sentence in a state prison. After that he started as a film student but dropped out when he realized he could not memorize more than one sentence at a time. He compensated by giving oral sex and offering his asshole for anal sex. "I'm very well trained for that," he said once to MTV, "I have, after all, spent fifteen years in a state prison."
As Stiller’s career blossomed he began to be plagued by accusations from critics claiming he couldn’t act. In response to those claims Stiller said: "I am not acting and I don't have a script. I'm just being myself on the set." Defenders of Stiller’s acting often mention his stint in Captain Planet as an example of his diverse skills, as well as his role in Zoolander, where he plays the retarded brother of Owen Wilson trying to make a career out of prostitution and bank robbery. Owen Wilson and Ben Stiller are often seen in movies together after they funded the Fag Pack Society, instituted by gay lovers for gay lovers. Their motto is: "Where asses are happily penetrated." Captain Planet was perhaps one of his greatest professional career opportunities in 1993 the South American planeteer (called Ma-Ti) in charge of the Heart ring, who was not well liked by his colleagues, was burned, drowned and then had a heap of earth dumped on him by a cyclone in what could only be described as a freakishly bizarre natural accident. Stiller proceeded to step into the role seamlessly for the rest of the series earning himself an Oscar, a Pulitzer Prize and a two for one coupon from Subway. He also happens to have an extremely large set of ears, which he commonly uses to fly away, propelled by smelly farts.
In 2050, when they will be both old men, Stiller and Tom Cruise will act side by side in Hardy Erected Old Cocks, inspired in part by a true story written in 1952 by an Irish housewife of the 17th century. Stiller and Cruise revealed that the movie will help them come out of the closet and rape young male children. "We want to open our asses to the public, because this is what we do best," Cruise told the press one day in January of last year. He later denied after his current spouse, Katie Holmes, pretended to force sexual assault and pillage his anus during a cruise to the Bahamas.
Ben Stiller is unfortunately often confused with Ben Affleck because of their first name. This is usually attributed to the fact that people are dumber than what previously thought and because both have an active interest in applied physics; reportedly the two teamed up to build their own particle accelerator in Stiller's parents basement in 1998 and accidentally killed fifty people and made George W. Bush retarded. Claims that their disturbing similarity is due to the fact that they are part of a clone army are generally admitted as true. Stiller has been linked with many young Hollywood starlets in the past. Notables include the huge iceberg in Titanic and Britney Spears before she got crazy and bold due to excessive sex with ugly people.
==Zoolander♥== blue steel... magnum... =>
- Craps Pants*
Yep did it again...
Elmo's Christmas Striptease (2007) (TV) (voice) .... Stiller the Elf The Backbreak Kid (2007) .... Eddie Untitled Christine Taylor Project (2007) (TV) Night at yours Moms House (2006) .... Larry Daley
"Arrested Development" .... Tony Wonder (3 episodes, 2005-2006)
- The Penis of Destiny (2005) TV episode .... Tony Wonder - The Immaculate Ejaculation (2005) TV episode (uncredited) .... Tony Wonder
Mad-ass-in-a-car (2005) (voice) .... Alex Meet the Fuckers (2004) .... Greg Focker Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004) .... Arturo Mendes Dodgeballs: A True Teabagging Story (2004) .... White Goodman Starsky Bones Hutch (2004) .... David Starsky Then I Came on Polly (2004) .... Reuben Feffer Analhander (2001) .... Derek Zoolander Meet the Asians (6 Dicks in one little chick) (2000) .... Gaylord 'Greg' Focker Black and White (Interacial orgies) (1999/I) .... Mark Clear My Sterile Men (1999) .... Mr. Furious There's Something About My Willy (1998) .... Ted Stroehmann AnalFister: (1996) (TV) .... Derek Zoolander The Ready Willing and Able Guy (1996) .... Sam Sweet / Stan Sweet Flirting with HisDadsMum (1996) .... Mel Coplin Happy Getsmore (from behind) (1996)
- Ben Stiller is ugly fuck and schvin.
- Stiller's father, Jerry Stiller, played the one fat guy's dad in Seinfeld and the fat girls dad in King of Queens. He is well-educated in the science or chicken/rooster/hen procreation.
- He met Owen Wilson on a hunting trip in Sweden. They have been married ever since.
- Ben Stiller has never worn a manseirre. Or bro. Whichever's funnier.
- Although Stiller is left handed he hasn’t let that set back ruining his career.
- An accidental fire started on the set of the movie ‘Banagan Rides Penis Again’ and Stiller was overcome by smoke and collapsed. His hair proceeded to pull not only Stiller to safety but also the camera man and the sound engineer.
- Stiller had an imaginary mouse friend called Stilton who unfortunately passed away in 2003.
- Stiller often guest lectures at Oxford University for the Physics department where he is affectionately known as Professor Stilltonium.
- Stiller is often confused with someone who is funny
- He steals from the church collection plate
Simple Jack Movie
Before the Tropic Thunder Seris, Ben made a movie called Simple jack which is about a retarted red neck. This movie wrecked his character which was rescured by the Viet Cong.
The Tropic Thunder Series
Due to the success of Tropic Thunder(2008), Ben stiller has promised 9 sequals(but he cant count so he made 10):
(2010) Tropic Thunder 2: Revenge of Tom Cruise
(2012) Tropic Thunder 3: Thunderstorm hits Los Vegas
(2013) Tropic Thunder 4: Owen Wilson, where's my car?
(2016) Tropic Thunder 5: The ipod chronicles
(2020) Tropic Thunder 6: The ipod chronicles 2
(2020) Tropic Thunder 7: Attack of the dog
(2023) Tropic Thunder 8: Zoolander
(2025) Tropic Thunder 9: Meet the fockers
(2026) Tropic Thunder 10: Shrek Style
(2029) Tropic Thunder 11: Attack of the Commies
(2029) Tropic Thunder 12: Big Show kills it!