Bethesda Softworks

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“I don't like having to mod children and nudity into my games.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Bethesda Softworks' games
This guy is voiced by Patrick Stewart, did ya know that?

Text below reflects History, Reputation, and Future Plans of Bethesda Softworks.

Bethesda are like, these total genius guys who invented and pioneered the way of life, No, the second, better life IMO, that is like, The Elder Scrolls. They total pwn at making games and stuff! I just wish it was all real...WAIT it is real, yeah, real...real real real. I love Bethesda. Of course, I am like, the bestest fanboy. Bethesda is wkd

Background[edit]

i dont know

How to Play[edit]

Okay, STFU, you get to select what your man or woman can look like and stuff. And you create your guys skillz, like Blade and Marksman and Destruction magic (I have all my skillz maxed out by the way). I called my class Xx_PwnagexX. IMHO, he is totally rOxOr!. In the game, u can like join these guilds (I've done all of them and raked up all the achievements -I must have spent 24 hours straight in my mother's basement). Yeah, ya get Dark Brotherhood, Fighters Guild, Arena, Mages Guild and Thieves Guild. Not forgetting the super-duper secrets ones u haven't done - Order of the Virtous Blood, Knights of the Thorn. I Own. ROXXXXORRR!!!!. There are caves and ruins as well, like Vindasel, it's called 'cause Vin Diesel was filming a movie in Bethesda, Maryland where Bethesda Softworks were originally based, y'see. Remember, u can't beat my lvl 89 Redguard, he pwns.

Game Feedback[edit]

The game was released on 20th March 2006 in North America and on the 24th for the European Union. It was received well by the critics and...I celebr8 these days by making a kewl pilgrimage to Bethesda, Maryland. Thing is, everyone should play these games, even those WoW nOOb BaSTARDs!! I h8 so much. Bethesda are the shit and shud continu makin the series. I'm gonna get my character to level 100 by using the special prison trick u nOOb turds dunno about. Im da best - ME FTW!! ROFL ROFL!

The skills screen of a nOOb - mine is total maxed.

The Future[edit]

Teh future will be gr8 at Bethesda. Everybody should get the next game. Except for those stoopid jocks who keep beating me up at High School. By the time the next 1 is released, mayb my acne will have cleared up, and I'll have my 698711.1GHz, Intel Pentium processor computer with light in the dark keyboard and built in Laser Printer. Anyway, there should be like a religion or somethin fo Bethesda...which reminds me, MY STAR TREK FAN CLUB MEETING IN AN HOUR!! OMFG!!

Alrite, back from Star Trek meeting (we had a comedy show in Klingon, hee hee). Hopefully, The Elder Scrolls will outdo them World of Warcraft nOObheads. Oh yeah, funny thing happened wen I got bak - my brother caught me masturbating to a picture I took of my character from Oblivion! and he told my mother, which was really embarrasin.

My Character[edit]

Yeah, am not boastin or nuffin but my character pwns. This is what a character shud b.

Name Xx_PwnagexX
Class Xx_PwnagexX
Level 89
Weapon Blade of nOOb Turning (Fire Damage 2500 points on Strike)
Armor Cuirass of Pwnage (Resist Everything 100%)











Conclusion[edit]

So, yeah, that is wot Bethesda is all about. Unfortunootle I was banned from playin Oblivion for two hol months!!! cos my mother found porn magazines with naked shemales in them. But I think ill find a way to get round the punishment. Oh, and to make matters worse, some jocks snuck in through my window, videotaped my Klingon comedy rutine and posted it on the internet. Now every1 at school is total flamin me. P.S. BETHESDA PWNS!!!!

Okay, wos hidin undernf bed reading Lord of the Rings comics and counting my Pokemon trading card collection when my bro shouts down and tells me a girl is at the door. Wos so nervous that I strted swetin and I pissed my pants. Anyway, one of these days, The Elder Scrolls V will arrive. Shame that Bethesda are currently working on another game calld Fallout 3, so the fifth one wont be around til 2010/2011. Which is y I decided to, until then...

Hope I will meet real kewl guys like these
  • Attend Lord of the Rings conventions
  • Attend Star Trek conventions
  • Attend Spiderman conventions
  • Attend Pornography conventions
  • Attend Convention conventions
  • Apply zit cream
  • Dream about sex and giggle uncontrollably.

OH, AND I TOTAL PWN!! ROXXXXOR!! FTW!!!