Bill Nye the Science Guy

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Bill Nye demonstrating his new invention, the half-globe.
For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the self-proclaimed experts at Wikipedia have an article about Bill Nye the Science Guy.

Sir William Sanford Nye, also known as Bill Nye the Science Guy, Bill Nye the Scientologist Guy, Bill Nye Your Mom's A Guy, Bill Nye Likes Other Guys, Bill Nye the Nazi Spy, Bill Nye the Racist Guy, Science Guy the Bill Nye, Bill Nye the Rapist Guy, Bill Nye the Philip J. Fry?, Bill Nye the Pumpkin Pie, Bill Nye the Waffle Fry, Bill Nye the French Fry, Bill Nye the Stephen Fry, Bill Nye the Pedophile, Bill Nye the SILENCE! Guy, Bill Nye the Science Gay, Bill Nye the Science Goy, Bill Nye stole My Pie, Bill Nye the Sexist Guy, Bill Nye the Science Fry, Bill Nye the Jewish Guy, "Bill's nude he's not a dude" or even Bill Nye the Naked Guy is widely recognized as a raging crack addict, the founding father of YouTube Poop, and the guy from that really annoying edutainment show. That annoying edutainment show is Bill Nye the Science Guy. Though it was only supposed to air from 1993 to 1997, the series actually ran from 1978 to 2066, thanks to an accident on set during the filming of the time travel episode.

Bill loves science. A lot. In the LOST EPISODE Bill Nye taught the SCIENCE of making love to SCIENCE...or a bag of popcorn.

Bill Nye: Who wants Popcorn! Kids: We do!...Ooh yay! Extra butter. Bill Nye: That's right...butter (shifty eyes) Smart Kid: Wait a minute that doesn't look like butte... Bill Nye: Did you know Popcorn pops because of SCIENCE! Kids: AWESOME! Bill Nye: Science rules!

Entertainment Career[edit]

Bill Nye began his career by inviting children into his basement to take pictures. He dressed them up as a big purple dinosaur and scared little children. He eventually ended up being fired and then went on to work for a day care where he taught science part time because he was an honor student for science. He taught many young children about particles and atoms. Then he got promoted to elementary school science teacher. He taught for many years then decided that it wasn't enough for him. He became a gang member for 4 years. All he cared about was drugs, sex and money. Later on, he appeared in Back to The Future: The Animated Series, doing a short bit OF SCIENCE! where he would demonstrate science. These educational segments of SCIENCE! introduced the cool kids of the '80s to the geeky concepts OF SCIENCE! To everyone's dismay, he never really covered what a flux capacitor really is and how it works.

From this he gained national fame, and got his own TV show OF SCIENCE! called Bill Nye the Science Guy. Bill Nye the Science Guy revolutionized comedy as we know it, as he was one of the first people to use repetition until it isn't funny.

PROTIP: Bil Nye created God

"Inertia is a property of matter Taiwan China"

The intro[edit]

Bill and his bow tie OF SCIENCE!

Bill Nye the Science Guy!

(Deep voice)Bill Nye the Science Guy...

Bill! Bill! Bill! Bill! Bill! Bill! Bill Nye the Science Guy!

*sweet guitar solo*

Science rules. Bill Nye the Science Guy!

Inertia is a property of butt fuck.

Bill Bill Bill Bill Bill Bill Bill Nye the Science Guy.

Bill! Bill! Bill! Bill! Bill! Bill! Bill! Bill! Bill! Bill!

T-minus seven seconds.

Bill Nye the Science Gay!

Today's article is brought to you by Uncyclopedia. Uncyclopedia - telling it like it is to the uninformed masses since 1969. Thats right, 1969. The year of 69. Now that's a science experiment. :)

The Music Video at the End[edit]

Song: Whatever, He's Nye Artist: T. Nye Not That Bad Records

Bill's a wreck
he's not very nice
He can shoot rockets all night
But he can do whatever, he's Nye
Yeah, he can do whatever, he's Nye, yeaaaaah

Learning about cells, so lame, so dull
But The Science Guy won't take your bull
He can do whatever, he's Nye
Yeah, he can do whatever, he's Nye, yeaaaaah

Time Traveling Adventures[edit]

Nye accidentally discovered time travel due to an incident with a potato gun, Jessie, Colgate toothpaste, two squirrels, and a warm pumpkin pie. After noticing that he wasn't in his studio anymore, but rather, inside Abraham Lincoln's bathtub,and had sex with Jessie and Abraham before he realized that he had traveled back in time and had become a space whore; to the good ol' days of yore, where blacks were still enslaved, women had little rights, and the world made sense. After getting out of the bathtub, he ran into Lincoln about to shave, calling his beard "Gay" Nye rebutted, knowing who this iconic 16th president was, and told him to keep it. They then promptly high-fived and declared war on the southern states, saying that, "Jefferson Davis is a bitch," and breaking a bottle of whiskey over Jessie's head. Nye then turned the tide in the war years later by distracting the Confederate generals with the baking soda and vinegar volcano OF SCIENCE! He then realized that thanks to the Union winning the war, Dr. Sam Beckett could finally leap back to his time and get out of Lincoln's body just after dodging an awkward situation where he was about to sodomize John Wilkes Booth with a baseball bat, then promptly after , a hockey stick. Lincoln was supposedly assassinated later during a play, but those events are still argued over in history circles today.

Bill then decided to duck out and join some jackass named "The Doctor" and travel around in this trippy-ass box called a TARDIS. The Doctor then promptly kicked out Bill due to the fact that The Doctor didn't like having someone who uncannily had better skills at Street Fighter II, which Nye immediately replied by dropping a log on the Doctor's floor and saying, "Your Guile sonic boom's ain't shit against my mean-ass Ken skills"

His travels soon came to a close when one of the squirrels died, and eventually had to find one after he accidentally landed on the Genesis planet from Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Khan which was completely devoid of squirrels, he stowed away on the H.M.S Bounty which was a Klingon Bird of Prey that Kirk stole from Commander Kurge in the Star Trek film "The search for Spock" . He then booked it like a motherfucker when they landed in San Fransisco in 1986 and promptly found another Squirrel, and a new Pumpkin pie, since he had ate it on the flight back to Earth. And then decided to make bank by traveling to 1978 to make bank and start his show anew.

His Android Friend[edit]

Nowadays, Bill now roams around with his android, the Tyrannosaurus Rex Abraham Lincoln and fights evil all over the universe, including his arch nemesis Unicron. He made this android when he was bored one day, and made the "trans-dimensional mind download to robot form device OF SCIENCE!" and made a copy of Abe's brain and put it in his super advanced robot buddy. Bill's other Android friend is Stephen Hawking.

Other Facts[edit]

  • Bill Nye, collectively with Richard Dawkins destroyed religion on October 27, 2006.
  • Bill Nye is in fact King of the internet contrary to popular belief.
  • Bill Nye is an underground street Fighter.
  • Bill Nye's Tweets are at least 150 characters
  • Bill Nye once transmuted his own feces into pure Colombian Cocaine. Then promptly sold it for money to buy a large Mr. Coffee Machine and 50 pounds of pure Colombian Coffee.
  • Bill Nye also can play a mean-ass game of tekken, and is known to make a man shit acid from such an awe worthy combo.
  • Bill Nye is the only man to release an album that went sextuple platinum called Science will never die.
  • Bill Nye also is recommended to bring on a trip to Jurassic Park, due to the fact that he made Dinosaur Abraham Lincoln and is the only one who can tame this great beast.
  • Bill Nye has one fear on this whole planet and that is called Zemmiphobia or in defenition, Fear Of The Great Mole Rat... he believes it will destroy all of us one day, and when that day comes we will beg him for help, and he will consider it...
  • Bill Nye can produce 2 handfulls like Hnry Bujajiksk[i*Bill Nye is the unifying theory of physics, that all things come back to Bill, and Bill had involvement in everything around you.
  • Bill Nye sees what you do every night and is not pleased.
  • Bill Nye created the real living grimace for the McDonals live action movie that was made in 2031 and sold more tickets than the movie Titanic (movie) and Avatar combined.
  • Bill Nye also has sword fighting skills rivaling Afro Samurai
  • Bill Nye is also known to be the distant grandfather of Scorpion.
  • It is well documented that you should never fuck with Sir Funkmaster Bill Nye, EVER, just DON'T FUCKING DO IT.
  • Bill Nye created Chuck Norris so he could laugh at mankind.
  • Bill Nye is Albert Einstein without the Super 'Stache.
  • Rodney Mckay is smarter then Bill Nye.
  • Science rules.
  • Bill Nye killed Santa Claus because Santa is "mythological and Bull Nye(Bill Nye) makes science number one.
  • Bill Nye killed the man who killed Spiderman
  • Bill Nye is Abraham Lincoln's only surviving niece
  • Bill Nye is also a plumber, 5 star chef and the prime minister of 3 different countries that no one cares about.
  • Bill Nye is high every time he goes on air.
  • Bill Nye is currently pondering the origins of Blexicans
  • You wish you had molecules
  • Science rules
  • Get The Picture? Science PWNS All!!! BOW BEFORE TEH SCIENCE!!!!
  • Science Fucking Rules!!! Got It!!! You Better, or Bill Nye will use Science to make it so You Get It without your consent.
  • Bill Nye has a detachable anus. DETACHABLE ANUS!