Bill White

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“His necktie was stained. And his desk was covered in pubes. It was then that I realized that this was no ordinary real estate salesman.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Bill White
Bill White in his natural habitat.

Bill White is a Jewish-American journalist who is notorious throughout the beltway for his dislike of black people. He operates a website at, although he is deliberately vague about what it is he plans to overthrow - most likely a buffet table of some sort.

In his ongoing efforts to pick up women, Bill White has joined, and subsequently left, nearly every fringe political group in the United States, from the Anarchists to the Minarchists to the Steely Dan Fan Club. During his most politically active period - between 2002 and 2006 - Bill called himself a Libertarian Socialist, which meant he was simultaneously a Libertarian and a Socialist, which, as far as self-contradictions go, is roughly on the same scale as being made simultaneously of matter and antimatter, though not nearly as explosive. Today, he wears the spiked armband and red helmet of the "American National Socialist Workers Party," a neo-Hilterian cult with flamboyant tendencies. Look for him to join the Pastafarians in 2008.

Other activities[edit]

Bill White has a website called which contains news and facts relating to that taboo subject, diarrhoea. It was originally called that (ho ho) because Bill wanted to write anonymously about his little problem without people knowing. However, this backfired and he is known throughout the internet as someone who talks a load of shit.

He also owns a series of properties and has tried to style himself as an American Nazi Nick Van Hoogstraten. Unfortunately he is not as rich, well connected or clever as the aforementioned Dutch landlord, so this plan has failed and he has become a laughing stock for millions of people and grossly inconvenienced the lives of a few of his tenants.

Bill White is also crazy and has managed to get himself thrown out of every political party in existence. Even the Nazis hate him which is saying something. He joined the Green Nazi Party and got himself expelled from that, which may have something to do with the fact that they are styling themselves as non-racist (despite having a huge swastika as a logo!) and regarded him as an embarrassment.

Books by Bill White[edit]

  • The Turner Diaries (1995)
  • How to Earn a Fortune in Real Estate (2001)
  • How to Lose a Fortune in Real Estate (2002, 2003, June 2004 and November 2004)
  • Atlas Shrugged (2006)
  • If Jews Can Ban Santa, Why Can't I Ban Jews? And Other Observations (2007) - his most notorious volume. Alan Dershowitz is currently working on a rebuttal, tentatively titled "Because You're Not Santa". Whether or not Bill is, in fact, Santa, is a matter of ongoing speculation.

See Also[edit]