Bill and Melinda

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A screencap from the beginning of the home movie, Bill enticing Melinda.

What is it?[edit]

Bill and Melinda is the title of a home movie that was recently deposited on the hard disk of every Mac user during the Great Purge of MSN Messenger 6, a time when total chaos and anarchy descended upon humanity, fishanity, and the Amish. For hours, absolutely nobody, except those with a light heart and Holden Caulfield-like sight, could log onto the service. Some were even affected for days and those who did manage to sign on during this dark period of history were driven insane by what they saw. Their very brains boiled over, leaving only a white foam in the skull.

How did it happen?[edit]

After an international investigation, instigated by Her Majesty, The Queen of England, the cause was finally traced and evidence was uncovered which led to the horrible truth being exposed; on a dark but very wet night in the early months of 2005, Steve Jobs had been furiously masturbating, surrounded by his family and The Apple Board of Directors, as he watched with joy the live webcast and tried to record it to disk at the same time. Tragically, the conflicting codes of OSX and Windows XP caused a cascading reaction to occur and a downward spiral of events began, Jobs' misendeavors in a moment of absolute ecstasy resulted in the video being played to every single user of an Apple Macintosh computer and brought the Microsoft servers to its knees. It then took the virtual penis of Apple into its virtual SCSI port and blew.

Fortunately, Bill couldn't keep it up for much longer and Jobs shot his load soon after, knocking his own connection offline and ending the terror that had been brought to civilization. Mysteriously, 9 months later the childbirth rate rose one hundred fold.

Aftermath[edit]

Bill and Melinda make a tentative public appearance

The world is still coming to terms with what they saw on that fateful night, but copies of Bill and Melinda continue to outsell Microsoft Office and are currently the largest income generator for the Gates Foundation. It is expected that the default wallpaper in Windows Vista will depict a scene from this now infamous production.