Billy Hatcher

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Billy Hatcher is a world-renowned 'egging artist' who was infamous for wearing a chicken suit, vandalising a person's face with eggs instead of vandalising the victim's house with the same instrument, hatching the eggs to make lackies out of them and wearing a chicken suit (mentioned twice just to show how creepy that is to wear that thing on a normal occasion).

Billy Hatcher and Society[edit]

This stuff led to problems conflicting the child. Some death threats were sent to the lad's house personally, mostly involving the finger and the words "If I see you one more #%@^ing time...(insert random death threat here)." After a few threats, he was only seen living in a land of anthromorphic chickens called "Pirate Island". After such, it caused war between Pirate Island and other numerous countries (such as the U.S.A., Great Britain, Spain, France, and Japan). The main tatic seemed to involve blocking out the sun, sending monsters to the island, or putting their leaders in a giant golden egg.

Billy's Lackies[edit]

Mr. Hatcher preffers egg-hatched creatures to do his bidding. Mostly so he can scream "I'm your parent, die for me!" and "Do you want to be boiled?" If they talk back, he simpily boils them in the egg or rams them against the wall. He fights off criticsm of his child abuse methods by saying "Hey, I do this to bring back the sun, you can belly-ache about my actions or starve!" After that, no one really cared.


"Friends"[edit]

Due to the abuse of them, his children can not be counted among his friends. However, he did know 4 people who could stand him. They are:

Bantam Scrambled:A former football star, he was suspended indefinitely for steroid use, which not only caused him to become homeless, but also gave hom an extremely stupid sounding voice and creepy, puffy, cheeks. He eventually conquered Blizzard Castle, and forced the citizens there to build a giant snowman to scare crows away from his crops. He met Billy when Mr. Hatcher saved him from being blown up by revolting citizens. His leadership was restored, and he has been Billy's friend ever since.

Rolly Roll: The fromer princess of hyrule, before Zelda threw her out, she had used the embezzled money to buy a penthouse apartment in giant palace, before she was thrown down to pirate island, where the natives strapped her to a stick of dynamite. Luckily for her, Billy saved her. They immediately fell in love, Billy previously having had no company except his children, and Rolly being turned on by his child abuse. They were married on September 28,1?8?. They now live in a mansion on pirate island, where they have pirated versions of every movie in existence.

Chick Poacher: Was put in the penile colony of Dino Mountain for poaching. He lived there for several years, until the warden, Topo, decided they had fed him and cleaned up after him long enough, and decided to execute him via explosion. But then, Billy came and saved him at the last moment. He then had Chick asassinate the king of Dino Mountain, Argos "The Minigame Salesman" Geniore III. He has been tracking him forever since.

Imposters[edit]

Eventually, when a person of becomes famous enough, he/she's bound to have copies or "shadows" per say. Billy however, gets angered by the image of these false versions of himself and locks himself into mortal combat with them(which is hinted in the multiplayer version of the game "Billy Hatcher and the Giant Egg" made by Sega and Sonic Team which circles around the boy in this article) and the winner would become the new Billy Hatcher. However, no-one ever succeeded to take his throne.

Billy's Finest Hour[edit]

William J. Hatcher's life was nearly put to an end by his own father named Chronos via being devoured to cure disgestion problems. This was said before by an Uncyclopedia article about Greek Gods. Billy's last word's were "No dad, don't eat me! I cause many ass proble-..." in an attempt to save himself. After eating his son, Chronos said "He tasted like chicken." (Un)fortunately, he used an egg he had sealed a Hadoken in to blast himself out. He escaped back to pirate island, and has since lived in his girlfriend, Rolly's apartment.

References[edit]