Black operations

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Not a black op participant!

A black operation (or black op) is the opposite of a white operation (or white op). Black operations are military operations in which armed soldiers bring chaos and destruction to peace full communities and then blame it on some one else. A white operation on the other hand are a operation where unarmed civilians bring peace and collect money to less fortunate and take credit for the operation. Black is a color and operation is a game where you take body parts from a middle age man and if you are to clumsy the game says "Beeeep!" and you have to restart. People often get awards and medals from white operations but no one have ever received a award for a black op. "Knowing that you made the world a more terrible place is a award in it self" states a anonymous black op veteran named Daniel Brown. The soldiers preforming black ops are often bad ass biker marine kind of people while the people preforming in white ops are lame hippies.

The first black op[edit]

The first black operation took place in soviet Russia. Dr. Dmitri Blaschlaskovich trained his pet monkey to break into the local biscuit (or cookie for all you American people who have a hard time with Real English) factory. The monkey was arrested before Dmitri got a chance to learn his pig to break into a coffee factory. Dmitri said that the monkey did it on own initiative. "He has just been trouble since he was born" said Dmitri in the court. Dmitri did however lose custody over his pig, cat and elephant.

Who to blame?[edit]

Black ops are in the press commonly known as terrorist attacks since terrorists gladly take credit for destroying things they had nothing to do with. It is also very easy to blame children since no one believe what they say, and it is very common that black ops are blamed on Alzheimer's disease victims for obvious reasons.

How to recognize a black op and how to stop/assist it[edit]

Here I will show you the basics in how to stop/assist it. Black operation soldiers are ALWAYS dressed in black ONLY and wear black helmets (Not bicycle helmets). It is extremely important that you double check if they wear helmets since if they are not it is probably your local emo group. If you are 100% sure that they wear helmets (not 99% or 98% and absolutely not 50%) you have 2 decisions.

  • 1. Contact your local white op organization. They will gladly take a break from collecting money or cleaning up the streets to save the orphanage the black ops are going to destroy. or
  • 2. If you want to help the black ops you should start a massacre to draw all attention away from the orphanage (WARNING! Uncyclopedia and the author of this article does not encourage you to start killing people)