Blarg

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“Blarg! I cannot live without thee!”

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Blarg.
Black Holes are thought to be the absence of Blarg.

Blarg, being everything, but yet somehow nothing; How can it exist? The fact that it is nothing and everything makes it the essence of the universe. It is existence itself. Blarg is the structure of time, without it, all the timelines in the world could not have existed. Without Blarg; Now would never happen, nor could it happen. Nothing would happen, there would be no time. Everything would happen all at once, without being in its own unique time line. So to say, It would be the year the universe collapses, but yet the birth of the universe. So in the bigger picture, Blarg plays the strings. [not literally you fool.]

The bible Of Blarg[edit]

Here is just the first page from the bible of Blarg. Unfortunately it is only available in its original language, LOLcat.

Teh Bible uv Blarg

Blargasuz. Page 1.

Oh thee awn thy furst lazee dai, decideded thou blarg didz, Ta uniet awl thee gassez in thy yooniverse. Oh him hoom mixeded thy gassez awl together. Yee createded thy urf adn eets bondz. thy decideded ta taek ee rest awn thouz kouch.

But awn thee nex fateful dai, thy blarg createded thou watah adn thou land. Blarg sayed ta yee “ Ahh, alaz yee luks purdy” But blarg thot yee wuz ta devoied uv thou lief.

sow awn thy threeth dai blarg createded thou prey. Thy prey werz livin peacefully wif thyuddah. Den thy graet blarg decideded thou prey lackeded intelligence. sow blarg sawed teh hyoomanz. A pitiful raec thou owt n e naterel strengthz. sow thy blarg granteded dem wif grateness uv intelligence.

Thou hyoomanz worshippeded blarg. Blarg decideded ta giev dem giftz adn gaev dem a maitey garden. Nameded teh gardeded awn Blarr.

Blarr wuz ay beautiful plaec. A sanctuary foar thou hyoomanz, wif plentiful fudz adn comfortabul livin spayziz. Thou blarg adn yee hyoomanz werz happy. Thou blarg maeded a foarbidden tree. Thou tree hast thy foarbidden fruit. Undah thou tree twaz a eagah ducky. Thy ducky twaz noes normal ducky. Thou ducky hast graet intelligence adn thy didn’t lieks thou prey or thy hyoomanz.

wun dai Thou hyoomanz approacheded thou tree uv foarbidden fruit. Thy ducky sawed thou, adn hast sayed “ thou shalt each frum thy tree, thou fruit bearz teh hyooman kyndness.” sow thou hyoomanz eated teh fruit. Thy blarg sawed dis, blarg shouteded at thy hyoomanz “ y hast thou eaten thou fruit?”

“ aye, we hast bein sory awr graet blarg!” repenteded thou hyoomanz “ Plox spaer awr thou maitey powurz adn hast awr repent awr invizible errorz!”

Blarg replied, “ thou disappoint meh, hast noes hyooman a intelligence? Hast I cast yoo owt sow thy kant liev in peaec adn armonee? Thither thy exit uv thy blarr, thy shalt nawt hast thou privalgez uv thou blarr. Thou shalt b cast owt!”

Thy hyoomanz twaz sended owtta thy blarr. Blarg punisheded yee uv moar invizible errorz, by givin thou agin adn diesez. Thou noes plantz fir thy hyoomanz ta eats. Thou prey despiseded thy hyoomanz, sow thy hyoomanz adn prey shalt nawt liev in peaec.


Absence of Blarg[edit]

The famous Blarg owl.

What happens when Blarg is absent from a period of time or space? A black hole is created. The Black hole will suck in everything within its reaches to fill in the hole where Blarg does not exist. So over time, if the black hole collects enough Blarg, the black hole will fill up and return to normal space.

The Blarg Owl[edit]

Blarg being so unique it has many forms. Including xenomorphic owl. This owl has been worshiped by many civilizations durring the past including ancient Egypt and the Romans. But eventually it slowly died out and the last trace of it found was in 1056 B.C. But very recently this holy Blarg owl made a major come back. As The stray believers gathered and decided to spread the cult's influence. Ahem, I mean enlighten the world of the knowledge of Blarg. Hail Blarg!

Anyways this owl is 10 feet tall and likes to eat blackberrys (yes the cellphones). You can reconize tis owl by it's sheer size or of course its distinctive call, "BLARG".

Encounters With the Blarg Owl[edit]

There have been few encounters with the Blarg owl. Only a few have lived. But all have come back screaming Blarg and have never recovered.

Blarg, Biblical[edit]

I Pitty the fool who doesn't believe in Blarg.

Blarg. Most religious will groups will deny the existence of Blarg. But what they don't realize is that if there was real a god (saying there god is real), Blarg would fit perfectly into being a "god". Because Blarg created everything; so in a sense, Blarg is god.

Blarg Definitions:[edit]

Unfortunately there is no real definition for Blarg. Really that is because Blarg means everything and nothing at the same time. It can be used as a verb, noun, adjective etc. Here are some examples of blarg in use:

  • "Blarg!" - blarg is used as an exclamation like "wow" or " OMG!".
  • "wow thats blargy!" - Blarg meaning good/nice.
  • "Blarg?" - Blarg meaning "what?" or "pardon?"
  • "It looks, uh , blargish" - Blarg in this is used to describe something ugly or smelly.
  • "blarg." - In this sentance blarg is used randomly and means boredom.
  • "blarg." - means yes 'WTF do you know!'

Blarg, What is it?[edit]

“The eternal mystery of the world is its incomprehensibility. ”

“Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts. ”

~ Sign hanging in Einstein's office at Princeton

“Blarg, What is blarg? Blarg is me. ”

“What makes the universe so hard to comprehend is that there's nothing to compare it with. ”

“May the Blarg be with you.”

~ Yoda

“Blarg blarg, honk honk.”

~ Crunch Bite on Blarg