Board of Education

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The board of education (not to be confused with bored of education, or the wooden 2x4 with the same name) is a mythical government agency that controls public schools. They are the source of all evil in the universe.

Official flag of the board of education.

Members[edit]

Former members of the board of education include This Guy, Adolf Hitler, Darth Vader, Joseph Stalin, Cthulhu, and Sauron. Hitler resigned on the board's conversion to Communism, which led to him declaring war on the US, the USSR, and Mordor. He was replaced by a faceless politician. Soon after, Vader, Stalin, and Sauron all died of obvious causes. Guy and Cthulu were poisoned by the rising faceless politicians. The board is now controlled entirely by faceless politicians (one is suspected to be Osama bin Laden).

A typical member of the board of education. At least until they discovered he was black, then he got kicked off.

Controversy[edit]

There has been some concern over the board of education, mainly because of their

  • Racism
  • Murder
  • Communism
  • Theft
  • Marijuana posession
  • Cocaine posession
  • Heroin posession
  • Pot posession (this is counted as a separate crime because no one likes them)
  • Incompetence
  • Abuse of power
  • Abuse of lack of power
  • Nazism
  • Starting WWII
  • Brainwashing
  • Moar brainwashing
  • Failure as human beings
  • No one likes them
  • Killing the indians, then blaming it on us
  • Killing the whales, then blaming it on us
  • Causing global warming, then blaming it on us
  • Having no faces
  • Soul destroying
  • Causing cancer
  • Nuking of Atlantis
  • Rape of everything
  • Transsexuality
  • Causing AIDS
  • Causing all death in general
  • Being politicians
  • Not to mention the stuff they actually do to the public schools which they control

The concern was, however, ignored entirely.

Impact on Schools[edit]

The board of education's main focus is on anti-racism. 50% of time spent in schools is now dedicated to the evils of racism. This is, however, an obvious scheme to cover up their own blatant racism. The other main subject taught is leftism. How else would these poor children learn who to vote for? Thinking for themselves? Leftism is crammed down their throats until they suffocate to death. Most do.

Other than that, they also have no problem keeping all the school staff in place. We all know how bad they can be. The good ones are the ones that get fired, and then killed while no one is looking.

Other stuff[edit]

The board came into existance in the year 812 when slavery was not allowed in the US. Since this was an obvious problem, they were elected to the government and passed laws allowing slavery, which would not be destroyed for more than 1000 years. They also caused diseases because north america was far too populated at the time, effectively reducing the population by 95%. They pit the remaining indian population against each other. This also helped grow trees, which are the superior race according to the board.

Nobody knows how many members the board has had, but nobody cares either. Despite being American, they live in the remains of Hitler's bunker. Coincidentilly, WWII was started by two factors, WWI and the board of education (due to being extreme racists). WWI, on the other hand, was started entirely by the board of education.

See also[edit]