Bobblehead Doll

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One of Mayor Goodman's bobblehead dolls, which he's willing to trade for a Beatles foursome.

A bobblehead is a doll (or, for boys, who, of course, do not play with dolls, which are for girls and sissies only, an action figure) that has an oversize, spring-mounted head that wobbles. The name, therefore, really should be wobbleheads, but some marketing genius decided that "bobble," for some reason (or none), is better than "wobble."

Mayor Oscar Goodman's Collection[edit]

Former Mafia mouthpiece and current Sin City mayor, Oscar Goodman, has one of the world's largest collections of bobbleheads, including one of himself. His favorite bobblehead is that of Monica Lewinsky, shown kneeling in a blue dress, with her mouth wide open. "I can see why Bill Clinton appreciated her services," the mayor said. "Ms. Lewinsky's mouth is huge, but her lips, although full, are sensuous and soft. I really should look into hiring her for dictation."

Other bobbleheads in the mayor's collection include fellow politicians, athletes, singers, actors, and historical figures. His wife gives him one every Christmas, although Goodman, who is Jewish, does not celebrate the religious significance of the holiday. "However," he declares, "I would love to acquire a Jesus bobblehead to add to my Adam and Eve, Noah, Abraham, Moses, and David action figures," which are all "properly circumcised, according to the Covenant."

There is also a bobblehead JFK action figure that only works when its head is shot with a toy rifle. "I don't think I want that one," Goodman says. "It's too politically incorrect, although I understand that Jackie owned one."


A bobblebood doll: CENSORED by Uncyclopedia's panel of bluenoses!

Although early bobbleheads were "fun characters," Goodman says, including such real-life characters as Meyer Lansky, Bugsy Siegel, John Gotti, and Richard Nixon, "major league baseball has just about ruined the lineup by flooding the market with bobblehead baseball players." However, there are still a few of the figures that Goodman would like to add to his ever-growing collection. "I want the Beatles, Michael Jackson, and Madonna," the mayor confesses, "and one of John Kerry's daughter, whose figure wears the same see-through blouse that the Gentile slut wore at that European film festival."

Bobbleboob Dolls and Bobbledick Action Figures[edit]

For those who are "into such things," the mayor says, "there's also a collection of boobleboob dolls, foremost among which is the one of Dolly Parton," and a few, rare bobbled action figures, including one of Goodman's nine-inch colleague, California's Governor Arnold Schwartzenegger. "I'll leave it to your imagination as to what parts of these dolls' and action figures' anatomies bobble," the mayor said, "but their names sort of give even Gentiles a clue."