Bohemian Rhapsody

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"Bohemian Rhapsody" is a fucking epic masterpiece performed by the band Queen. That's the band with the sexy one (Freddie Mercury), the one with a lot of hair (Brian May), the guy who wrote "Another One Bites the Dust" (John Deacon) and the guy who did the falsettos (That hot guy). The length of the song has never been determined, but it is estimated to be of an infinite length and all attemps to listen to the entire song have ended in full scale massacres, and entire populations suddenly deciding to divide by zero. Since the song is so long, it is commonly confused with the longest song ever recorded.

The fucking epic masterpiece was released in 1975, on Queen's album "A Night at the Opera." It has been voted the best song ever recorded. Queen is awesome, and any Queen song covered by ANYONE is a load of shit. Period.

In a TV interview Freddie Mercury (the sexy guy) stated that "Bohemian Rhapsody" is actually a tribute to the Armenian pianist and composer Levon Bohemyan, and the music is greatly inspired by Bohemyan's heretic orchestrations, hence the strange dynamics of the song. But that's too serious for Uncyclopedia. Let's get back to being funny. I hate being serious.


This song was written after the band had been in the recording studio recording for uncalculable hours straight and Freddie Mercury started halucinating after taking a whole bottle of pep pills at once. The song took another ugabijillion hours to record as Freddie kept going temporarily crazy, May was busy giving birth to May's triplet's and throwing hissy fits where he locked himself in cupboards for hours at a time. Brian was too busy feeding his tea addiction every five minutes and that guy who played bass kept falling asleep. When played backwards, the song sounds like the Pokemon Theme Song, leading many to believe that the guy who wrote it was actually making a prediction about Pokemon taking over the world.


I'm not even gonna go there. You figure it out.


Nobody knows what the hell this song is about, but based on the lyrics, it is widely believed that this is the story of George W. Bush's presidency. The following is what is believed to have happened:

  • Some kid contemplates his life (and possibly creation)
  • He kills a man (and regrets it)
  • He runs away from home, and says he wishes he wasn't born (makes his mama cry)
  • He's sees a man's silhouette, then sings about thunderbolts, lightning, and Galileo (obviously uniting with the creator)
  • He asks somebody if they think they can stop him (god has backed him up)
  • He gives up (nothing really matters)
  • The listening audience is under the impression that they have just tripped EPIC BALLS.


Every song created after 1975 stole elements from Bohemian Rhapsody. "Mamma Mia" by Abba stole from the operatic bit. "Baby" by Justinia Biebiere stole from the hard rock bit. All ballads have been influenced by the beginning. Hey Jude was stole the melody from this song. So did Like a Rolling Stone. And all of Oscar Wilde quotes.