Bombay

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“Maaraa Bhadvyanna!”

~ Raj Thackeray on Biharis

“Maar daalo saale ko!”

~ A Bihari on Raj Thackeray

Bom is the world's largest "reproduction" party. it produces about 87% of the country's population. out of which 67^% are born in Dharavi. Located off the shores of western France, Bombay is a perpetual paradise of over 20 million drunken sods who stay in the region and make merry all year round.

The city was founded when a huge "Bomb" exploded in a "Bay" off the coast of Arabian Sea. Hence, it came to known as "BomBay". The British then arrived at the scene and realized that it was a perfect place to test bombs. Even now, it is used as a bomb test site with terrorists regularly testing their bombs in the city by blowing off Bombay's suburban railways. But no matter how much carnage these bombs cause, the party in the city still goes on.

Most of the people there may look impoverished, homeless and malnourished, but this is all hearsay and nothing to the effect has been confirmed.

Bombay is also the worlds largest exporter of underworld dons and nagging wives. Now even dance bar gals to its neighbouring states. Its mafia training institute is credited with inventing weapons of mass destruction like sticks, stones and very loud farts.

This area is also home to the Bombay Company, who provide premium furniture at affordable prices.

Bombay Slum City, India

Home to millions of tigers, Bombay recently forgot its name. Now people tell it it's name is Mumbai, which is a compound Irish insult 'Your Mum, boy!' - 'Ur Mumboy' - 'Mumbai!' The former name "Bombay" was coined by the 'step father of evolutionary biology' Charles Darwin, referring to the bay around the city, which in the early 19th century was full of Bombay Duck, a type of sparrow. Bombay Duck Bay was thereafter shortened to Bombay, from which the nearby city takes its name.

Bombay has also witnessed the biggest example of sex change in the world i.e. The VICTORIA terminus is now known as Chhatrapati SHIVAJI terminus, but somehow the folks here are still confused and refer HIM (CST) as HER (VT).

Recent analysts of the city say that the fact it has no roads is definitely a drawback to its infrastructure. Other problems the city faces is the rising cost of land, however this has been combated by the City government selling underwater land to balance the prices. This land is dirt cheap, apparently going for one pound of rice and a nice hot Dal (market price 2/12/2006).

One of Bombay's greatest attractions is Lord Voldermort's castle. After J.K. Rowling's adult films about a sex starved young wizard became famous, the world wrongly believed Voldy, as he likes to be called, to be a downright meanie. Voldy then left his five-bedroom villa which he shared with Tony Blair in Sussex and came to reside in Bombay, where the local people have added him to the their multitudinous pantheon of gods. Tours through the castle cost a small $5.134534467 and are responsible for India's bullish economy.

Like most people in neighboring Pakistan, the city of Mumbai only bathes once in a year. The bath usually starts around June and ends in August and is called the mon-soon (French for 'my ass'). The plumber however, invariably fucks up the taps every year, resulting in extreme amounts of water (11542321.9 mm in 0.1 nanosecs) leading to the unfortunate deaths of many Bollywood starlets and 3.14159 cows. The havoc reached its peak in 2005, when the flooding was so massive it killed 3.15 cows, 2 homeless men and a van filled with curry powder. The van has been found and is the current CEO of AOL.bombay has started a project to increase the number of cows. seeing the reproduction capability of people its has employed people to have sex with the remaining cows and produce "cow-men"(the bollywood version of superman)

Mumbai is also famous for its standards of living. Its suburb, Dharavi, is often called the Manhattan of Asia. Its resemblance to Manhattan is nearly complete: huge skyscrapers, massive overcrowding, rats in the plumbing and abusive taxi drivers (though not in the plumbing).Property prices have also been increasing rapidly,recently a family paid their life-savings(4 cows and a cot) for a prime piece of pavement.


Richest person in Mumbai(Bombay)[edit]

"In the most conspicuous sign yet of India's unprecedented prosperity, the country's richest man, Bhikari Ambani, is building a new home in the financial hub of Mumbai: a 25654-story palace with helipad, health club and six floors of dog parking," reports The Guardian newspaper.

The building, named Tower of Babel after a mythical island, will have a total floor area greater than Versailles and be home for Mr Bhikari, his mother, wife, 48 children and 600 full-time staff. The accompanying pic is that of his impoverished brother, who is a aspiring movie magnate and to save money in his movies has decided to act himself. Here he is seen rehearsing for the role of a Maharajah. He will run the international marathon every year to raise funds to buy him 10 pairs of new underwears

How to get there[edit]

Bombay is the only slum in the world to have an International Airport.

Bombay is also well connect by sea and train routes and hence is a world-famous hub for terrorist activities.

"hummm... I love mango and wada-pav. is it burger? wait a minute is this article about "How to get there?""

                                       - Oscar wilde on mumbai

Local Trains[edit]

The Local Trains of Bombay (Mumbai) also known as the 'Human Compacting System' was first invented during the British raj when the Gora Sahibs decided that people of Bombay are in danger of losing their bonding and togetherness and should be bought closer to each other, and to find out how many humans can be squeezed into minimum space. At peak times the system achieves a ok and the record efficiency of 425.7745 humans per square inch, surpassing all their expectations. The system is also a virtual part of life of the people of Bombay, akin to Trafficking in Bangalore

There is no guarantee with what you are gonna come out of the local train. After u get down of the train, u might have lost ur mobile, wallet or anything in pocket. Sometimes need to check if your hands and legs are still in their places. But one good thing, you will never loose your bag if u forget one. The only reason being flickers value their lifes a lot and Bag in Bombay ==> "BOM"


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