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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about Bonobos.

Bonobos are a species of flying Irish singer monkeys that are triggered by a synaptic response in a users frontal cortex. Such flying Bonobo hallucination is not just plain old vanilla boy/girl pornography either. No, the bonobos explore a gamet of all the really interesting forms of porn such as: lesbian (my favourite), BDSM, OPSM, reverse cowgirl, triple reverse cowgirl with double back-flip and a half turn, ATM, ATOGM, CHOGM, and many more just too bizarre to name. Yes, the bonobos fly into your brain and perform a sexual circus. Kinky little buggers.

The Bonobos are also known for having finally solved the question if it is better to have sex before you eat or to eat before you have sex. Through longtime hermeneutic experiments they found that the damages made from bite marks during hungry sex was much to prefer before the waste of food caused by horny interactions with melons and bananas.

The Bonobo's have also discovered the secret to true happiness. By eliminating all emotions but happy, sad, and horny, they get a lot more out of their day. Observations of these behavioral habits have proven that the Bonobos also have more energy and often times Bonobo mates don't sleep at night.


The Bonobos' natural habitat are mainly tangled, dense, untrimmed, or brunette areas of forest with large spires rising from the center. It is supposed that these spires are the Bonobos' places of worship and their inspiration for everything they do. These spires also have hot springs on top and annually shoot up a geyser of oddly discolored water.

Recent scientific research has unveiled a new genetic mutation causing their genitalia to be bifurcated. This recent discovery has allowed for new kinds of sex, including the interracial relationships between Bonobos and kangaroos (who also have bifurcated genitalia). Direct effects of this mutation have given rise to the kanga-sutra, Neil Weinstein's: I Have Two Penises, and Bonobos and Pornos: a Sexual History of Double-Double Erotica.