Book of Wilde
“Yeah baby, this is like How to Have Sex for Dummies!!!”
The Book of Wilde is the holy text of the Uncyclopedian Cult
It is a work in progress…
The Book of Genesis -- Everything has to start somewhere...
On the first day, Wilde created the universe....and it was good.
On the second day, Wilde created Uncyclopedia....and it was very good.
On the third day, Wilde created the Earth, and it was good
On the fourth day, Wilde created the Humans, and they were good.
On the fifth day, Wilde created the French, and they weren't that good.
On the sixth day, Wilde created Vodka, and it was gooooooooood.
And, finally, on the seventh day, Wilde got laid....and it was verrrryyyyy goood, and thus, it is commanded that every man have sex on the sabbath.
1One day, after Wilde had created the French, two Frechies were walking through the Garden of Cracker. 2Suddenly, they came upon a sock puppet, with a billowing tail and a dirty foot. 3"Hey, you," the dirty sock said to them, "come here." 4The two Frenchies looked around, "Who? Us?" 5 "No, the other two frenchies walking through the Garden of Craker...yes YOU!!!" he shouted, irratated. 6 So they walked up to the slimy sock puppet, and were curious as to what it wanted with them.7 The sock puppet told them to make a smoothie out of the healthy broccoli that groweth.8 Since french toast hadnt been invented yet, they decided to give it a go. But because broccoli is healthy and green, the french were doomed to be smelly and yell a lot.
The Book of Rules
And so Wilde gave his commandments down to his people, the Uncyclopedians:
- Thou shalt not take Wilde's name in vein
- Thou shalt not listen to Tamia music.
- Thou shalt listen to Alicia Keys music, and thou shalt live a long and happy life.
- Thou shalt not make up stupid Wilde quotes
- Thou shalt smoke weed on the Sabbath
- Thou shalt get laid on the Sabbath (be it your right hand, a woman, or a kitten)
- Thou shalt commit adultery with your best friends mom.
- Thou shalt be baptised [sodomised] by thy avatar.
All Things Wilde: A listing of everything about Oscar Wilde
|Writings & Inventions|