Borgen

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For those without comedic tastes, the "questionable parody" of this website called Wikipedia have an article about Borgen.

Borgen is a small part of Asker with an extremely exaggerated "ghetto" reputation, the rest of Asker is so ashamed of the place they even gave it it's own zip code, 1388. The self pronounced "Keeg's" from Nesøya, Landøya, Vollen, Risenga etc use to refer to the population of Borgen as "gangstas". The "Gangsta" stamp can not be put on the entire population, because Borgen is divided into two parts, the left and the right side of Borgenveien (Borgen main road).


The left side of Borgenveien[edit]

The truth is that it is only the left side that possibly can be defined as a ghetto with its grey/green high houses, by some referred to as "Krydderhyllene" (the spice shelves). It is said that only "pakkiser" live here, but there are also some misplaced ethnic Norwegians, who play Christmas carols in July. The further away you get from Borgen's eminent Rimi store, and the closer you get to the Asker towncentre, the deeper into the "ghetto" you get.

The right side of Borgenveien[edit]

On the right side of Borgenveien you find the typical Asker & Bærum million kroners villas and cars. It is on this side you find pools, tennis courts, trampolines and fancy cars. If the "Keeg's" ever think of visitng Borgen, it is recommended to stay on the right side of Borgenveien, where they'll feel more at home.

Borgen Ungdomsskole, the melting pot[edit]

Teenagers from both sides attend "Borgen ungdomsskole" when they turn thirteen. The mix of cultures has led to numerous incidents that will traumatize the poor teachers as long as they live. Here follows a list of popular pranks among the pupils:

  • Poop and urinate on the wardrobe carpets
  • Put a bag of urine in fellow students lockers
  • Fill the girls toilets with guppies
  • Classical stink bombs
  • Smashing windows with their heads
  • Let in hens on the run from the neighbouring kindergarten
  • Lock students inside the toilets
  • Use retarded people to their advantage


As you might understand Borgen ungdomsskole hasn't got Askers best students, and came second last on the list of this years exam results, only Hovedgården in Heggedal was worse, not suprising...

On Borgen Ungdomsskole, you can also find a monster. The monster is called Halldis. If you see her you better run becuse she is an evil woman with a mean laughter. If you "survive" three years with Halldis you're well prepared of almost anything! Halldis especially likes "mobbing" students all the time.

Things to see[edit]

  • Elgen (The moose)- a sculpture marking the entrance of Huldreveien. Elgen looks a lot like it's running

away from Huldreveien (of worthy reason).