Hey, a serious question deserves a serious answer. So here goes:
- Volleyball is an American sport, invented by Americans. Baseball was created from rounders, a game played primarily by English schoolgirls. Basketball was invented by a Canadian, Dr. James Naismith, using a soccer ball. Football is a bastardized version of another English game, rugby. So feel free to play a foreigner's game. I eat apple pie, I wave the flag, I drive a Ford and I play volleyball.
- Volleyball is the second most popular men's sport around the world after soccer. Baseball and American football are distant in comparative global popularity.
- Volleyball players are great, great athletes. It's commonly stated that the best athletes are high-leaping basketball players. Well, the average vertical jump of the U.S. Olympic men's volleyball team is greater than that of the U. S. Olympic men's basketball team. Of course, if you're a regular, dumpy guy who is nonathletic and likes watching other guys stand around, by all means, go for baseball.
- You said that "volleyball is a spectator sport made for guys watching hot girls in tight spandex spank a ball 2 each other across a net." Speak for yourself, dude. You could either watch from wannabe distance, or you could play with them and be their close, personal friends as I did. But I understand, man...you're a watcher and not a player. That's all right. Someone's gotta be.
- Volleyball is constant action. It's not (yawwwwwwwwwnnn) baseball. It's not the ten minutes of action TOTAL that you get in football. it's all action, all the time, with coordination, dexterity, athleticism, quickness, speed and power.
So to sum it all up...it's an athletic, fun, American game that is popular around the world and played by athletic, attractive people. You're right, dude...it's not for you.