Brainstorming

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Brainstorm

Brainstorming is a technique to focus your brain to summon an idea. It is a very dangerous activity, and should Due to it's dangerous nature, few instances of active brainstorming have been recorded from history. The earliest known instance was performed by Archimedes, but due to an unfortunate incident, most later records were decidedly burned down so as to prevent further cases of Brainstorming. However, due to a resurgence of Satanism where brainstorming is not only accepted, but also encouraged, these old techniques are now being researched upon.

Concept of Brainstorming[edit]

Brainstorming consists of 3 steps, each that must be performed in utmost care and in a stable, non-wet environment.

Set problem
A point of focus must be chosen. Usually this would be done by your overlord, however if you are masochistic, you can also set one for yourself.

Generate ideas
Using the focal point, one must visualize ideas. One must be careful not to be overwhelmed by them, or they may turn you sane.

Manifest idea
This is the most dangerous aspect of brainstorming: if your chosen idea escapes before you can constrain them, they may wreck havoc upon the world. (Some rumours suggest that Oprah is one such escaped idea from God.)

The Two Methods of Brainstorming[edit]

Two main methods of brainstorming exists: The inside-the-box and outside-the-box methods.
Inside-the-Box Brainstorming
Using a magic box, one would summon Google and enter the problem. This indirectly leads to Google performing the next two steps, and is very simple to achieve.
Outside-the-Box Brainstorming
If you don't have a magic box, or is masochistic, you can attempt to perform brainstorming by yourself, however, it is much more dangerous.

Comparisons between the two methods[edit]

Inside-the-Box Brainstorming

  • +Cheap
  • +Efficient
  • +Makes you look like a professional.
  • -If Google finds out what you are doing, your technique could backfire, putting the idea in control of you. (note: if this happens, emigrate to Russia immediately)

Outside-the-Box Brainstorming

  • +Gets you excuse for more time-off from overlords
  • +Painful (if you are masochistic)
  • +Makes you look like a genius.
  • -May take forever for the right idea to manifest.

Dangers of Brainstorming[edit]

Image of Archimedes being kicked out into the streets (censored).

Brainstorming is a VERY DANGEROUS activity. Listed below are some precautions one must make.
Brainstorm in a non-wet Environment
Archimedes brainstormed while taking a bath. This led to the idea stealing his bathtub and kicking him out into the streets. You do not want to be kicked out into the streets when taking a bath.
Brainstorm while Sober
It is true that the best and most powerful ideas manifest while drunk. However, it is also true that ideas are harder to capture while drunk. Learn from God, and don't create another Oprah.
Brainstorm far away from Trees
Isaac Newton brainstormed under a tree. His idea took advantage of this and made an apple fall on him, making it's escape as Newton was distracted. Because of this, Gravity now plagues us all. DO NOT under any circumstance attempt to use brainstorming as a weapon. The results are always disastrous, and indeed, it is illegal under Federal law.

There may be other precautions one must make, however Brainstorming is still an ongoing research. Brainstorm at your own risk.

See also[edit]