Brickfilms

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Did you know?[edit]

The WWRD (What would RevMen do?) party had Sexual Relations with William Shatner and, they also took Nutmeg while driving on the wrong side of the road in a bus lane.

Thats terrible, would you vote for a party like that? Please vote for: The Unyeilding Soviet Sock/Tractor Hunters Meet In Factory, Comlade/Communist Party. Comrade


Brickfilms[edit]

Brickfilms (or "OMG TEH LEGO MOVED!1!! HOW YOU DO?!?!?1!! HOW YOU DO???!!?!?!!" films) are stop motion films, usually made with children's construction toys (usually Lego), hence the "brick" in the title. Most brickfilms revolve around either a hitman who has to "get" someone, or two ghey guys who talk about stuff you don't care about. Ben Affleck is generally considered to not make brickfilms. Britney Spears has made one brickfilm.

Brickfilms.com[edit]

Yes, Brickfilms have their own [[1]]website on the intertron. Originally a slave settlement, Jason Rowoldt created Brickfilms.com back in 2001, after buying it from Jawas for 500 moneys (the original name of the site was barfmonkeys.com, but was changed because of complaints of false advertisement). Overcoming harsh critics, Jason lifted the brickfilms hobby from the murky depths to the dark, polluted sky. Populated by pedophiles, babies, and men who've just gotten their ears ripped off, Brickfilms is well known for its overwhelming number of controversy (including one "wardrobe malfunction") and conspiracy among the administration and all members. Although we are currently unaware of Jason's intentions for the website, we do know that it does involve babes and the use of aerosols.
After Jason quit the internet to date super models, Joshua Leisure (AKA "The Rock") took over. Things sorta went to hell. Josh enslaved the kind denizens of Brickfilms.com, turning it into a mining facility. Led by Frodo Baggins and Samwise, a group of rebels overthrew Josh, who later returned to the throne, promising he'd "chill out". In the year 2005 A.D, Brickfilms.com was contacted by crack-smoking aliens, who issued a number of "Review Panel Members", including the "MC Logan", "Ladon", and "Proto "Pops" Works".


The Brickfilms Chat[edit]

The first version of the Brickfilms Chat was powered by steam and squirrels.

The Brickfilms Chat was created in 1800 by Stefen Van Swammy. With this revolutionary machine, people were able to converse with each other over long distances. Sadly, Stefen's creation was largely overshadowed by the future telephone.
If one uses the brickfilms chat, they should be expecting lags, and rebooting the machine every other day is required.

In the future, it is then also known as 'The Brickfilms Chatrix', where people can 'jack in' to meet up for real in person. Things may get a little painful though if mod-agents kick n00bs out of the system for their spamific behaviors.

Brickfilms Timeline[edit]

19 B.C - Burma invent the webcam. It turns out to be a pile of crap

001 A.D - Jason Rowoldt reads his ramblings to the world from the holy bible.

800 A.D - The holy prophet and Brickfilms founder Jason Rowoldt conquers Eurasia.

1337 A.D - Jeorge invents the time machine with da brickster, rstudios and RP Hoogle. It only worked once; they went to the year 2000, and were never seen in the year 1337 again.

1585 A.D - Acericardo invents Swiss Cheese.

1762 A.D - Burma descended into civil war, as the price of a web cam temporarily climbed beyond the price of $30 US.

1865 A.D - Robert E. Lee surrenders. Brickfilms wins the civil war.

1995 A.D - Steve Ballmer 'fucking burys' Brickfilms. He then died before he could seal the hole.

2000 A.D - Da brickster and Jeorge materialise in their time machine. Jarrah White thought it was a hoax, so he started a website on it.

2001 A.D - Moderator Doobie Tosser is caught selling illegal drugs on live television. He refers to the incident as a "wardrobe malfunction" and is exiled to the Soviet Union.

2002 A.D - The Brickfilms Empire adopts the slogan "digging the bricks on what digs the bricks".

2003 A.D - The super-extremely helpful Brickfilms FAQ (TM) is made. Since then, no one ever bothers to read it anyway.

2003 A.D - Sauron's forces conquer Brickfilms. They are soon overthrown by a band of n00bs from the Shire.

2004 A.D - George W. Bush claims that he is a frequent visitor of Brickfilms.com.

2005 A.D - Chosen1 denies all charges of shameless Spam.

2005 A.D - Aled Owen gets awaken by a bolt of lightning, and heads straight to the internet.

2005 A.D - Bert and Rolz release Da Europeans Part 1. All hell breaks loose.

2005 A.D - KG invents the Brickfilms Uncyclopedia.

2005 A.D - Post and Review forum is hijacked by evil Dwarf terrorists.

2006 A.D - Da brickster finds China.

2006 A.D - Brickfilms takes over the Podcast community.

2006 A.D - Acericardo gets into the hockey team and utters the remark "w00t" to the captain.

2006 A.D - Carlos misplaces his watch.

2006 A.D - Post and Review forum is being overflowed with Da European episodes. Every European brickfilmer wants to get involved in the next episodes; even the non-European ones.

2007 A.D - Jeorge finds out he has to have a stomach pump performed by none other than da brickster, with a belt-driven chaingun.

2007 A.D - Brickfilming gets mass exposure on the TV show iCaught. Too bad no one watched it.

2007 A.D - RP Hoogle invents the Hoink!

2010 A.D - Our Lord, RevMen takes over the world, the culmination of a massive plot to annihilate spammers.

2026 A.D - Twenty years on the Men From COTY now in highly superior jobs do yet another marketing attack and do a 7th remastering where they add somthing of use this time such as the famous Orange shadow lipstick 3D fun Directors cut.

2050 A.D - Da brickster loses China to the Canadians. Eh?

2051 A.D - Jeorge gains power over China, nukes the UK, saves all the England and Scotland based Brickfilmers, and places them in charge of Soviet Russia.

2060 A.D - RevMen takes over part of Japan.

2064 A.D - Jeorge gets accedentally shot in the left-foot by one of gray scale's hitmen.

2070 A.D - Aled Owen finally finds a girlfriend, their relationship lasts all of 5 seconds. In that time, he managed to stick his tongue down her throat so far, that it came out her bellybutton, get her pregnant twice, and break 3 of her ribs while groping her. In America, this is true love. Her mother broke up with him for her, as her face was disfigured from the flesh-on-flesh exposure to Aled.

2080 A.D - Aled Owen gets shot, his last words were "Oh my gawd, I must check the forums". He was shot by Ladon in an anti-alcoholic rage.

2081 A.D - Dave releases his Halo movie, it turned out to be a piece of trash.

2084 A.D - Jay Silver FINALLY releases his pirate movie; it was 03 minutes and 46 seconds long.

2101 A.D - All your Brickfilms are belong to us.

2101 A.D - The Brickfilms Empire has grown to 192 countries, 449 planets and 2 galaxies. Mars still claims to be independant.

2101 A.D - Jarrah White says the sun landing was faked.

2101 A.D - The Lego Company attempts to stop Brickfilms from copyright infridgement of using their products in films without permisson, and start a war. It only lasted 2 minutes.

2102 A.D - Brickfilms is taken over by PETA and turned into a slave camp.

2199 A.D - PETA upgrades the Brickfilms Chatroom to the virtual reality system called 'The Chatrix'.

2199 A.D - Littlebrick is the first to use 'The Chatrix'. A minor glitch sent him hurtling into Limbo. His last words were "CAN I BE A MOD COMETBAD?!"

2211 A.D - The leader of PETA is killed by a bear. PETA is overthrown.

2237 A.D - The last episode of Da Europeans gets released by Rolz and Bert's grand-grand-grand children.

2237 A.D - Rolz and Bert sells Da Europeans to Disney Channel for the record setting price of $0.99. Da Europeans is retitled Da Eurobeans, and now revolves around two dyslexic jelly beans who must "save the world from evil before suppa' time" (Source: disney.com). They're voiced by Hilary Duff and Raven Samone.

2238 A.D - The TIE Army had started, but it is defeated within 5 minutes by the more powerful BOLO Army.

2239 A.D -Cometgreen, Reputed to be the last brickfilmer, releases Cognizance 3000. He sells Brickfilms to LucasFilm LTD as nobody was alive to watch it.

2245 A.D - Brickfilms hopelessly breaks up into millions of peices, Hoping that the last peice will be found by a Monkey.

22,300 A.D - Jeorge was found in a starship singing, he had died and had been re-incarnated over 400 times.

            "I fly a starship across the Universe divide
             And when I reach the other side
             I'll find a place to rest my spirit if I can
             Perhaps I may become a Brickfilmer again
             Or I may simply be a single drop of rain
             But I will remain
             And I'll be back again, and again and again and again and again..."

100,900 A.D - Two Orange vested cavemen find a fragment of Brickfilms.com

200,100 A.D - Brickfilms to com is re-founded by a wealthy pawnbroker

220,210 A.D - Jeorge reincarnates Cometgreen, Watson, Dragoon, maggosh (because he had to), Aled Owen, RP Hoogle, Schlaeps, rstudios, LegosJedi, Littlebrick, Trillspots, RevMen, KG, BertL, Shale, MindGame, Grayscale, Smeagol, Nick Durron, Lechnology, Lord_Of_The_LEGO, Krick, Matt Gillan and saulgoode.

220,211 A.D - The world forgot about RevMen so everyone has to start at the beginning.

Brickfilmers[edit]

Classes[edit]

Here is a list of the different classes of Brickfilmers. Becuase i am one suckers!

Administrators[edit]

Clearly defined by the name, Administrators are the people in charge of selling drugs.

n00bs[edit]

These are the people that are actively working to keep Brickfilms healthy and un-spammed. Their constant stream of repeated topics have helped maintain confusion levels in the forums. Some n00bs, are actually not n00bs, but they pretend to be n00bs to get attention.

Moderators[edit]

Often reffered to as "the Nazis", Moderators (or "Enforcers") are given the task of editing peoples posts to include some degree of profanity at all times. They are also forced to "cleanse" or "purify" the chat of the member TV Productions on occasion.

Muggles[edit]

Those non-magic using losers, such as those dumbasses who think you need a masking program to remove the hand moving minifigs.

Reviewers[edit]

Pretentious assholes who reject any film not worthy to wipe their arse with. If something isn't as awesome as Citizen Of The Year, they will immediately reject it and send small boys crying to their mothers. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES CHALLENGE THE ALL POWERFUL REVIEWERS!!! Such a violation could lead to Dancersize. Dancersize, for those who don't know, is an EXTREMELY violent mixture of the words 'DANCE' and 'CIRCUMSIZE'. It is extremely violent and bloody, and is only avaliable to watch on the more expensive Pay-TV stations. Recently, 786 new members were added to the review panel.


Great Brickfilmers[edit]

Here is a list of the greatest brickfilmers who ever lived, or who are very generous in bribes.

03mernic[edit]

Aled Owen's ex, she dumped him on the forums because he couldn't kiss and was "a dicklhead".

acericardo[edit]

A rare photograph of "acericardo"

acericardo, Creator of Hostage (and swiss cheese. Yum!), is a crazed hermit currently residing in, well...

He uses the forum as his only real connection to the outer world, and runs a small online "business" with Barry Scott (of Cillit Bang, you retard), creating cheap imitation LEGO, and selling it to poor n00bs, causing them to get shunned by prouder fans of LEGO. This helps him pay off his rent to his imaginary building manager of his imaginary apartment in his imaginary town, where he skateboards with his imaginary friends.

Acericardo has also been known to spy on Matt Gillan, MB, and Buxton, respectively, causing them to go into temporary bouts of the flu.

Aled Owen[edit]

Known for his thoughtful and generous suggestions that have made Brickfilms a better place. Nobody knows how Aled got onto the Great brickfilmer list as he is great big lump of spam. He also consistanly asks to have Moderator powers in the chat. Oh, and he doesn't know how to kiss properly.

BertL[edit]

Currently working on a series called "Da Europeans", BertL is a lazy bum ass. He makes crap films that are worth viewing only for their intimate relations with monkey dung. He is also aparently known for being what's called a 'spoilt brat', for appearing on (non-important) Dutch TV and newspaper, and also for having a (slightly ugly) girlfriend. The rumoured realise date for Da Europeans 2 is 2067. YEAH RIGHT. Oh yeah, and he's dating LegobrosJon.

brianfast[edit]

"OMG TEH PSP R0X0RS!!11one!!1!" This is just one sarcastic statement by Brianfast from is book WHY THE PSP SUCKS by DS FAN BOY BRIAN. He is known for enjoying the DS's multiplaying features with people from around the world especially those friendly Comunists which he loves so much. On weekends, after a long and tiring but enjoyable week at schools using those nice apple computers, he can be found typing (with his Mac) post on his blog TEH DS IS THE SEXY BEAST.

brickman81[edit]

"I'm tired of this kid stuff. I'm going to go play outside, and enjoy Muther Nature's creation." ~ Brickman81 on leaving Brickfilms. He later got peed on by a pirate, trampled by horses, and eaten by a were-wolf. No joke.

carlos[edit]

who is carlos?
what's the capital of maine?
where ARE my testacles?

Chosen1[edit]

After being charged with merciless spamming he eventually disappeared for months and months, Only to return as the "Teh H4x0r" of the forum. Eventualy, he put up his H4x0r!ng guns and got a job as the Burger King mascot.

Cometgreen[edit]

Mother of the faglets in the Brickfilms chat room, Cometgreen plays an important role in the Brickfilms life cycle.

cosbiette[edit]

Y'see kids, this guy's just simply the dawg with all the jazz and the zip zoop zap zoobadibap!

CRAZZZYYYYYYAnimatoor[edit]

1134180110 stoner.jpg

dogscarletnyc[edit]

In reality, he is owned by a drunken owner who lives in a cheap flat in New York, USA. After drinking too much beer one time, the owner painted his fur completely red for no reason, and attempted to spread news to the Brickfilms forums that Star Wars was REAL. People weren't happy, especially Jarrah White.

Somehow conected with Nostradamus, he believed that the world would end on the sixth day of the sixth month of 2006. Unfortunatly... well, nothing really happened, resulting everyone in the forums to make fun of him.

EyesOnMeStudios[edit]

This small star has yet to find himself a great idea to show what a truely great animator he is. For otherwise someone (who shall not be named) will lose alot of money after investing in this computer, camera and Lego crazed mentalist.

Gray Scale[edit]

Considered by most to be the greatest living brickfilmer, Gray Scale produced two of the most highly respected films - Contains Snail Parts and Pointless. He can usually be found sniffing his own socks or tending to his free-range hamster farm.

Guitar Man[edit]

Not really known...for anything....at all.... Ever...


Wow, teehee. You're so witty!


HELP ME!!! N00BS!!!! I MUST GET A BARBER!!! N00BS!!!

Jarrah White[edit]

Jarrah White is the nickname for John White, an undercover CIA agent. John White is supposed to convince people that the moon is a hoax and does not have a dark side. Mister White is doing an awful job at that: in fact, he unintentionally convinced people that the American government and the internet are a hoax so she made a website about them.

jay[edit]

Known for being a complete show off whatsoever, Jay Silver pretends to be a professional Stop Motion Animator, but has actually drugged somebody and stole his films.

KG[edit]

When he first left, he was big known. He used to actually assosiate with the COTY bunch. And then, after a giant scandal involving California Prunes, he healed into GREAT BRICKFILMER status. Now all he does is snowboard all day and animate on every third Wednesday. Oh, and he thinks LG sucks.

Ladon[edit]

The most recent discoverer of Our Lord, he has made some of the greatest religious brickfilms in the history of staple guns.


LegobrosJon[edit]

Recently mistaken by Sanjaya, LBJ is a very odd member, it appears that LBJ has been dating BertL for quite some time. Even though they try to hide there gayness together everyone still seems to know. LBJ also has recently been caught cheating on BertL, He was seen in the chat trying to seduce a member that said she was a cat, and RP Hoogle. RP states "I was trying to get away from him, but the sexiness of both of our hair was somehow attracted to eachother." and the somewhat odd 'Cat member' seemed to stop coming to brickfilms. What LBJ did to the 'Cat member' is still unknown. Although LBJ seems to turn on most of the boys on brickfilms he still seems to like women, he once posted a picture of himself with his "Girlfriend" but the picture was such bad quality, Spitfire Studios insisted that it was a cat.

Littlebrick[edit]

Considered not 'cool' enough, but somehow got on the list anyway. He was the first person to use 'The Chatrix', and as a result, he is currently stuck in Limbo. His last words were, 'CAN I BE A MOD COMETBAD?!'

maggosh[edit]

Despite all other opinions, maggosh (known as 'Teh Master of teh LEGOs, yeah') is the actual inventor of the warp drive. In the middle of his work, maggosh was drugged by Zefram Cochrane and lost his blueprints and his girlfriend in an "Epic battle of booze and muffins", as described by him. All other information on him was lost in The Great Muffin Run of '96, yearly held on Endor, hosted by an Ewok. Not to be confused with HIT THE MONKEY, WIN A COOKIE

Matt Gillan[edit]

Made Dino Crises. 'Nuff said.

Matt At A Dino Crises Convention

MB[edit]

Formerly know as "The Masked Bumhead", MB made one of the best Brickfilms evar. This particular film was called "Random Stuff" and although never released, if you view his early posts you can read him raving about it. Occasionally eats children, but only on the third Sunday of every blue moon.

Mess de la Fritz[edit]

Creator of the popular phase, "OMG TEH LEGO MOVED!1!! HOW YOU DO?!?!?1!! HOW YOU DO???!!?!?!!". He has also never made a film. That I know of. Not one that hasn't been banned, anyroad.

mrgraff[edit]

When not overseeing his vast carrot packing plant in Burkina Faso, mrgraff can be found slowly deleting every film from the brickfilm directory. mrgraff's ultimate goal is to build a time machine and prevent the great Burmese webcam famine of 1762.

Munzapoppa Mini Movies[edit]

The best n00b in the history of forums. Creator of three awesome films, including the cult hit One Small Pizza. Has been known to love donuts. Has robbed Dunkin Donuts more than 11 times.

Nosniborus[edit]

A rare species of dinosaur, probably. A Nosniborus has never been sighted in "real life" (if there is a such thing).

The Debatinator[edit]

Now assuming the name "Mr. UC7", The Debatinator is best know for his NBC appearance in which he revealed his true identity: George W. Bush. While this apperance is often debated as a NASA hoax, certain proofs have led the general public to believe that this is truely the President.

WeirdEars[edit]

Possibly the most influential brickfilmer EVAR!!!! Creator of the critically acclaimed Fart Competition series, the British Zombie series, and his work on Anne Frank in Bricks has inspired many. He is currently working on making Mein Kampf into a movie which will star Josh Leasure as Hitle

White[edit]

Woah, name is like a colour. No relations to Jarrah White. White is a creator of Brick-chinima films. Its a cross between stop-mo brickfilms and Halo 2 Machinima. Its a sweet deal.

Most Popular[edit]

Here are the most popular brickfilms, or ones that are generally disliked by just about everybody.

Soldering Your Balls Saves Marriages[edit]

A frame from the brickfilm Soldering your Balls Saves Marriages.

Arguebly Tim's masterwork, SYBSM is the 2001: A Space Odyssey of Brickfilms: a classic of directing, story, and balls being soldered quite badly. Often compared to the masterpiece that is *SNAKES ON A PLANE

Too bad it sucks.

Cognizance[edit]

Released in January 2005, the brickfilm Cognizance was released, although this was widely considered to be a bad move. Many eskimos froze to death.

Mmm... Tasty Brugers.

"Directed" by Michael Green, Cognizance's story (I use that word lightly) revolved around a hitman sent to "get" someone, while in the process trying to discover his sexuality. While the animation and stuff is pretty good, the story is on par with a Lifetime Original movie, and a oh-god-thats-terrible-ish soundtrack by Coldsore. Cognizance is also well known for the use of the "not very feely-lacks crisp or power" gun fire effect.

Bringing up Cognizance is frowned upon. This segment exists only for historical purposeses. But I did include some pr0n for emotional remedy. Huh. Can't seem to find it. Ah well.

Carnage[edit]

This dark political drama was critically acclaimed for its moving script and riveting action scenes.

Citizen of the Year[edit]

Hailed by critics and audiences worldwide (Watson, KG, Mr Less, Cometgreen and Dragoon), Citizen of the Year did for films what sliced bread did for bread.
Produced by the "hottest man alive", Watson, Citizen of the Year is considered one of the most beautiful films yet to date. With a plot concentrating on one man's struggle to urinate on a brick wall, Citizen of the Year defined what Brickfilms stand for: stunning visuals, bums, riped potatoes, and Mariah Carey.

Anne Frank in Bricks[edit]

Considered to be WeirdEars' greatest achievement, and one of the most influential brickfilms of all time. The bike riding scene is considered to be impossible by most animation standards... its secrets have NOT been revealed.

Random Stuff[edit]

Directed by Masked Bumhead Productions, at that point known as "@$$ Hole Freddy" (???), this film was never released. However, here are some things that The Masked Bumhead said about it: My first movie should be coming out soon, i wasn't really concentrating on sound, quality, effects or anything, just plain old comedy! It is great and u probably wont watch it cos its jus a loada random stuff with sloppy animation an sound BUT IT'S HILARIOUS!!!!! I don't think I need help! just do ur own thing u no? MB was shot soon afterwords.

See also[edit]