Britishness

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What is "Britishness"??[edit]

Because the people of Britain hate each other so much, in 1997, their Government decided to split them up into four seperate political entities. By dividing the people in this way, the government could rule them easier by creating more differences and injustices between them. This has led to even more hatred which the BBC regularly reminds the people about in the news. This has also led to everyone having to pay more tax because of the extra administration involved.


At one point, it was argued that just splitting Britain into four "nations" did not seem enough to cause the friction and tention between the people needed to control them the most efficeintly. Therefore, some fat twat called John Prescott suggested that England should be split up into Northern and Southern England (and we all saw what happened to Korea). Luckily for the people, this motion was not passed because the voting process was rigged in the wrong way due to the government being very good at making cockups.


If this did happen, the English, Northern Irish, Scottish and Welsh would have had to shell out another few billion to build a parliament in Manchester.


Also there could have been this bizarre situation in the future where the people of Northern England could choose to enter the Euro and the other four nations could have kept the pound.


All of this division has made it good for politicians because it has created more jobs for them. But it also created an unforseen problem for the government.

The perfect representation of Britishness

The people have noticed that having thier own parliament has not made a blind bit of difference because most decisions are made in Westminster. England does not have it's own parliament and so "foreign" politicians get to vote on English issues. Also, the Welsh have not got a real parliament, they just have an assembly where they just plot ways of geting rid of Tony Blair because of the Iraq War but they never seem to succeed.


Tony Blair has announced that he intends to step down as Prime Minister in July, 2415 after turning Britain into a fascist police state. Ever since 1066, Gordon Brown has demanded that he should be the heir to the throne after Tony Blair, but people are so sick of the government they might do something really stupid and vote for the Conservative Party.


This is why we have Britishness.

History[edit]

Britishness was invented in 45BC by George Bush. He defined Britishness as "a way of telling the people of Englishland that although they are divideded and differenting, they still belonged to a bigger Americanist State called Britain. They be all run by the same people anyway, so why the fuck does it matter?". Therefore it is OK for a Scot to be the Prime Minister of Northern Ireland, Wales, England and Scotland even though each of these "nations" are ment to have their own parliament.


This is known as democracy in action.


The same concepts will be used to sell the people of Europe Europeaness and the people of the World Worldness.


Again, this will lead to even more taxation:


1) Street tax (a small government representing your street)

2) Estate tax (for the estate you live on)

3) Town tax

4) Local council tax

5) Nation tax

6) Continent tax

7) World government tax


This will become known as "the seven deadly taxes"

Another tax may be introduced (called "level half tax") for people who live in flats.


This paves the way for aliens to take over the planet because thier administration would sit nicely on top of this and we would have a solar system tax.