Broken VCR Player

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POWERON

“PLAY Feeefj iigm speeeiourrrk mdei hutjj mboobij sdx moep plirk...”

~ Breekejn VRRDP pler STOP EJECT

NOTAPE INSERT PLAY Hkello, aem zi Breekejn VRRDP pler gklo mjstrom pthskeek jiggle Xjar Weeerp. Btje plooshj wqonk qxzeeet! STOP FASTFWD

Broken VCR Player's Opinion of itself[edit]

STOP PLAY pgo iiix zzzzooom eeevyl bazxjtrd bnb REWIND STOP PLAY l baszturd bbb wheeheehee no behr BOOOOOJMJ! Iheke pthoork! Geoeofiihut gtuihiiiiiiiiiiii ii STOP EJECT NOTAPE INSERT PLAY

Aem grejt, grggt, grfat,
Aim so damndiuop grjjt,
LOW BATTERY WARNING LOW BATTERY WARNING LOW BATTERY WARNING LOW BAT
Aym ryouiii-ii-ii groiut!
Aem STOP

Good idea, it was getting a bit too boastful and conceited then. The Broken VCR Player is considered by the Sydney Robotic Church to be the most evil entity on earth besides the Broken VCR Player that thinks it's a computer. It is characterised by its inability to correctly reproduce sound, images and smell, and also by its egotism, selfishness, greed, ignorance, and insubordination to almost all other electronic appliances (even its own television set, which, consequently, suffers from depression and an inferiority complex). Also according to the SRC, it is the best friend of Satan, explaining why Satan loves this article (see above).

Origins[edit]

The Broken VCR Player is said to have originated from a transgenic hybrid between an ordinary Panasonic VCR and something heaps selfish. Trouble is, we don't exactly know what. Well, we can always check on the famous film "The Life of a VCR Player", shall we?

EJECT NOTAPE INSERT PLAY goorgly bloog ploojk FASTFWD PLAY Myi fthrr wyss fnoogiergerrff ednt meyi moooodrr wysss an Psoonikc VDRDOD pljjjyr STOP

Exactly, what did I say. Now, let's assume that its father was actually a fnoogiergerrff, whatever that is (my friends, in the Lord's name don't create that page). That's one question answered.

Hang on! How the hell can you have a hybrid between a VCR and a fnoogiergerrff (which we, for convenience, shall assume to be some sort of robotic monster)? Well, that's fairly simple. All they had to do is join up the wires from one to the other, taking into account voltage and +/- connections. Easy.

Life history[edit]

Despite being horrifically stupid, the Broken VCR Player hates John Howard. Don't we all.
PLAY Ae hejjrt Jfudfn Heoerd hy's ein eoixvl bsrtdzxdSTOP FASTFWD

The Broken VCR Player has spent most of its life, since its creation in (allegedly) the year 200jjk3, boasting, playing stupid films, and hanging around with ladies. A famous quote from "The Life of a VCR Player":

“FASTFWD PLAY Myie foorgvoouritt wiuemjjn wess Miueisss Wjjjjshng-Msheeexjne end Miueissjs Dsh-wjjrjsheeng Msheerkne”

~ Breejkn VRRDRP pliur STOP

No, doesn't make much sense. Ah well. However, the next section, I am sure, will be joyous for all mankind:

Death[edit]

The Broken VCR Player has been predicted, according to the prophecies of Robot Jesus, to live until the November 9 2014, when it will (of course!) get eaten by a robot grue. So there you are - Robot Jesus' prophecies sometimes do make sense. POWEROFF

Thank goodness.