From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search
Brumaks are beginning to grow in popularity due to the efforts made by pro-Brumak foundations.

“In all my travels and adventures, I have never met a creature as gentle and graceful as the Brumak...”

~ Deadpool on Brumaks

The Brumak (Locustus Gigantus) is a sub-species of the underground dwelling Locust. They are commonly used as a means of transportation and as vehicles of warfare in the Locust Horde. The adults grow to a height of roughly 50-feet for males; 60-feet for females (a common trait amongst the Locust species is genetic superiority for the females) and weigh on average at about 120 metric tonnes. They are usually found sporting armor on their faces and most of their body, as well as very large guns strapped to their backs.


The Brumak species is well-known to be one of the most gentle and non-violent species of creature currently known in the animal kingdom. Any acts of aggression are extremely rare amongst the species, and will only attack if highly provoked by a relatively unpleasent creature (or if asked nicely). However, because of the Human Locust War on the Brumaks' native homeworld Serra, a common misconception of the Brumak is that they are extremely violent man-killers, and would not hesitate to rip a human being to shreds. The fact is that a Brumak intentionally attacking a human is about as likely as for someone to dodge raindrops and avoid getting hit by one while balancing on a unicycle and holding rabid weasels in each hand for the rest of his life. Brumaks are, in fact, from the same descendancy as Orcas, which explains their noseless features and large teeth, and thus have the same friendly attitude towards humans as their distant Killer Whale cousins do. Brumak sympathizer and well known zoologist Deadpool stated in an interview;

"Brumaks are a classic example of how people can take an innocent animal and form these ideas in their mind that these things are out to get them in the middle of the night, just because they're given unfounded and biased information from these; what I like to call; 'False Encounters'. Primarily, it's the Locusts who should be at fault here, but then again, they're just using what they can to win a war, just like how America used the A-Bomb to quickly end the Pacific Assualt with Japan. (Or was it Cauncun?) Anyhow, this gentle animal's use as a device for war instead of being left alone is just sick and wrong."

In 2008, the common view of Brumaks as aggressive animals was lifted slightly during the COG army's second attempt to use a lightmass bomb to kill the Horde, when two COG special-forces soldiers managed to successfully hijack a Brumak to use as a means to help sink the city of Jacinto. The Brumak seemed more than willing to let two humans drive it around, and it showed an even higher will to live than Brumaks being piloted by Locust Drones, as it was hit many times by ordnance and small arms fire and yet survived for a miraculously long time. Though it did swat a Raven helicopter right before it's mutation, speculators suggest that the creature was unable to identify that the vehicle was manned by humans, and instead thought that it was more Locust coming to harm it.

Brumak Habitat, Feeding Habits, and Mating[edit]

Brumaks spend most of their young lives as pups in the mid-section of the planet Serra's mantle, a few thousand feet underground. Since Brumak pups have extremely sensitive eyes, they will remain deep underground until they become juveniles, when their eyes are less succeptable to becoming accidently damaged by rays of sunlight. Once they reach the age of ten, the Brumaks will traverse upwards into the upper-mantle, where they will spend most of their remaining natural lives. With, of course, the exception of times of war involving the Locust.

Considering that very few amounts of food can be found underground, the Brumaks have developed into omnivores to suit their habitat. They mainly feed on algae, lichen and sub-terrainian fungi, as well as Rockworms and the occasional Reaver. This puts them at a rivalry of sorts with the Corpsers, who have similar prey. However, Corpsers, unlike the Brumaks, are strictly carnivorous, and are known for eating humans. Thus, during the Human Locust war, the Brumaks have enjoyed a relatively low amount of competition coming from the Corpser species.

Brumak mating habits are very manly and virtually unknown to anyone above the surface, and even the Locust have very little idea. All that IS known, however, is that the Brumak adults head straight underground during mating season, thousands of feet below into the lower levels of the mantle. Tremors and sub-terrainian earthquakes have been linked directly to the Brumaks mating deep underground, and as a result have caused massive destruction to the Locust Horde. In fact, the Locusts' plans for the initial E-Day were delayed by about 15 months due to a massive tremor caused by the mating Brumak. Hundreds of cave-ins cut off tunnels to the surface, and thousands of Locust lost their lives. The Locust built a large monument dedicated in honor to the lives lost on that day. Later on, it would be demolished by invading COG forces and pissed on by drunken soldiers.

Brumak Population[edit]

Due to the recent war's calling for so many Brumak to be placed into service, the species' population has been in serious decline in the past few years. Between the first Lightmass Bombing and the flooding of the Locusts' lair, the Brumak lost over 1,300 of their species. Currently, recent study has deduced that less than 600 are in existence today, though that number is variable and subject to change. Brumak enthusiasts, such as Deadpool, have created programs to help preserve the Brumak species as a whole, as well as dedicating several hundreds of dollars towards a national park for the animals.