Brussel sprouts

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Wikipedia doesn't have a proper article about Brussel sprouts. It really wouldn't help those so-called experts by writing one either.

Created as a Medieval torture device by the world greatest genetic scientists(William Shakespeare, Christopher Marlowe, & Lord Byron) in 1906 BAC(Before Anti-Christ), Brussel sprouts were named so because of Dr. Dusseldorf Brussel, also known as he-who-must-not-be-given-vegetables.

The chemical equation to brussel sprouts(adenoquatrine diabophosphate + ferginium diagonate [using the energy of pure evil] yields benomichaeljacksonate + ziocarbonine) clearly and simply shows anyone with just a basic knowledge of science that the michaeljacksonine group in benomichaeljacksonate maximizes the pain in the horrible experience that is the consumption of brussel sprouts.

There has only been one known survivor of eating brussel sprouts, and his name is Harry Pothead. He is the boy who accidentally swallowed a bottle of syrup of ipecac because he was high.