Bubble tea

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Bubble Tea (latin: bullius theus), is an exotic blend of tea where bubbles mysteriously rise and pop in your face, leaving a disgusting smear of soap and tapioca upon your visage.


Japanese Bubble tea, otherwise known as Udon.

Bubble Tea is believed to have originated somewhere in the Pacific Circle (aka. Ring of Fire, although no one knows why). Many accredit it to the Chinese, but really it was The Triad (aka. Chinese Mafia, although no one knows why) who invented it. Rumor has it that Chairman Mao, an avid member of the Triad, came across this recipe in a small noodle shop. However, this recipe was later stolen and reused by the Japanese. After having been japanized, it became what is now known as Udon.


Bubble Tea now inhabits much of North America, all of Asia, and some of Eastern Europe. It is considered an "Alien species", and is encroaching on the habitats of Soda (carbonine aqueous), Water (hydor aqueus) now an endangered species, Iced Tea (glacius theus), and Beavers (salmo salar).


Bubble Teas are a diverse species. There are many different kinds, but they are generally classified into 2 main groups: Black Teas (noiris) and Green Teas (verdes)

Black Teas[edit]

Black Teas generally have a more bitter disposition than the Green Teas. They are also less adept at preventing cancer. Within the family of Black Teas, there are Milk Teas ("creamies") and Non-Milk Teas ("not-so-creamies"). Black Teas usually come in the same flavors as Green Teas, but have a slightly darker sense of humour.

Green Teas[edit]

Green Teas have a sweeter disposition, and if you buy them gifts, they will reward you with anti-cancer agents of doom. They enjoy video games, and are very delicious when served cold with ice. There are found in the same flavorings as Black Teas, and are also differentiated by their Milk content.

Bubble Tea Flavors[edit]

See Also[edit]