Buickman

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Buickman, also known as Jim "The Dingleberry" Dollinger, is a small offensive balding man living on the outskirts of Detroitville, Michiconsintucky at the age of 76. Buickman used to be known as the "Buick Sales King" until arch-rival Rick "The Rectifier" Wagoner upset him by calling one new Buick sedan "LaCrosse," which means to masturbate furiously in Canadian slang, for the 1906 and 2006 model years and he quit.

Buickman and OJ 'The Ho-J' Simpson at the short-lived Jim Dollinger Buick Open Homicide Tournament, where Double Murder meant Double Cash Back.

After that moment, Buickman began to buy up all Buick cars made before 1901 and 2001 and he turned them all into two well-loved cars, the Dunbar Moonlight David Special Century 2000 Edition LT and Dunbar Daylight Super-Duper Sport Fly Like A Regal 1999 Edition LS. He's also the real man responsible for the Buick Lightsabre. He also created General Watch, which amounts to bullshit scoffed at by all people, even the retard locked up in the attic. His dealership, Dingleberry Dunbar and Dodge, is located next to The Hotel California, a half-mile away from Wal-Mart on the bypass in Detroitville.

Buickman has recently filed a sexual harassment suit against Asimo.


Buickman's Accomplishments[edit]

Dollinger has recently marketed a new line of feminine hygiene products known as Red Ink Ricks. Red Ink Ricks come as either tampons or pads in handy glove compartment-sized packs, perfect for those unexpected monthly Red Tag Specials. They were originally billed as being able to "Absorb More Than My Dealership Selling a Lucerne below GMS Pricing." Newer packages are labeled with the tagline, "Show Rick Where to Stick It!" in bold lettering.

Buicktroll: Adventures in Time, Space, and Dealer Pricing[edit]

In late June of 2006, critically-acclaimed director "Even" Steven Spielberg announced a major motion picture starring Buickman. Not a stranger to the silver screen, Dollinger has had roles in numerous films over the past two decades, though never of any prominence until now. Avid viewers may remember Dollinger as "Homeless Factory Worker #2" in Michael Moore's mockumentary Roger & Me as well as "Hugh Z. Wrexcion" in his homemade X-rated flick What's Good For BM is Good for My Anus.

The Spielberg-directed Dreamworks SKW release Buickman: Adventures in Time, Space, and Dealer Pricing will be Dollinger's first starring role. He plays the title character of Buickman, a salesman by day and nude internet blogger by night who embarks on a quest to save General Motors from CEO Rick Wagoner. After ingesting a dangerous quantity of Viagra, Buickman transforms into a grotesque fifty-foot tall monster-like creature who roams the dilapidated countryside of northeastern Michigan in search of GM employees he hasn't yet sold fifteen cars to. After financially and anally penetrating them, Buickman trots off to Detroit, where he climbs the GM headquarters building at Renaissance Center to confront and penetrate Wagoner with his The Plan.

Buickman also is known as Dr. Banner Dingleberry because of his ability to turn into Buicktroll and spam up websites such as "Cheers and Gears," "GM Inside News," and "Penthouse Forums" with anti-Wagoner hate posts. His posts as Buicktroll are random and are always written under the Buickman moniker.

This is Buicktroll/Buickman/Jim Dollinger/Mr. BannerDingleberry getting ready to go on a rampage. Heed the advice on the photo.

Buickman's Arch Rivals[edit]

Here is a list of Buickman's Arch Rivals:

  1. Rick "The Rectifier" Wagoner
  2. Bob "Maximum Overdrive" Lutz
  3. Carlos "Mencia" Ghosn
  4. That fat guy in the elevator.
  5. Satty
  6. wbpharry
  7. Buickmanwannabe (Buickman says, "There can only be one of me! One of me!")
  8. Josh
  9. Evok
  10. Darth Vader