“I can't believe it's not bumhole!”
A bumhole is a vortex which transports you into the world of My Little Pony. Many people desire these bumholes in a convenient place such as their living room or bed room because they are convenient for whenever they would like to ride multi-color ponies with random happy designs such as rainbows, hearts, stars, and occasionally multi-colored penises. A bumhole can be kept as a decorative centerpiece in any room as long as it is not within reach for small children.
It is commonly believed that the word Bumhole comes from the welsh word Bymhl, which means "passage". This word came into English with a slightly different pronunciation and spelling. It is the only word in existence which has purely welsh roots.
History of the Bumhole
The earliest recorded use of a bumhole was in the year 0, when Jesus used one to go to the land where the Ponies dwell. There he plucked flowers, in the way one plucks a guitar, and came back with the music following after him from what then became Thy Holy Bumhole. Thy holy bumhole then proceeded to part whater with his bumholeyy powers.
During the Tudor period in England, bumholes were a very common form of transport, as they became more readily available with the invention of scissors, which were used to cut open bumholes. The Tudors would often get a pony, bring it back into this world, and use it to pull along carriages. Howevere, since everything back then had no color, their beauty was lost to all. Even King Henry VIII was seen riding a pony, which proceeded to die within minutes.
Sadly, by the year 2412, bumholes had fell out of use. This was mainly due to the invention of the Time Machine, with which one could go into the past and get a pony, and thus bumholes were not needed anymore. However, they had already earned themselves a place in history, having been recorded in almost all civilisations at one time or another.