Bunsen burner

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Lord Friedrich R. N. Bunsen, inventor of Bunsen Burnerism.

The holy Bunsen Burner was invented by Lord Friedrich Robert Bunsen circa 1850 precisely.


Bunsen Burnerism was invented under request from Chemists so that when they were checked upon by Physicists and Biologists it looked as though they were actually doing something useful, when all they were doing in reality was mindlessly blowing things up. Chemistry has always been under threat of being re-branded as an art rather than a science, and the Bunsen Burner made new types of explosions with lots of different colours impressing prominent scientologists so gosh darn much they kept Chemistry on as an honourary field of science. Boom.

The Bunsen in historical texts[edit]

The Bunsen Burner has been an important part of history, and is thus featured in many texts over the last 2000 years. References can be found in the Bible and Oscar Wilde's "A Brief Brief Brief Brief Brief Brief Extended history of the Bunsen".

"And Moses, leader of the Bunsenites, said unto the Pharaoh of Egypt; 'Let my Bunsens go' " -- Bunsens 13:37, The Bible

Prominence of the Bunsen Burner in modern society[edit]

The Bunsen Burner has achieved legendary status among Chemists, so much that each morning in Chemistry labs, chemists don their lab coats and pledge alleigence to the almighty Bunsen Burner before starting work.

"Bunsens are good, Bunsens are great, We surrender our will, As of this date" -- The Bunsenatic Oath