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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Burnham-on-Sea.
Burnham-on-Sea is the only place in the United Kingdom where it is legal to hunt dolphins.

“The birds are coming! Where is Mr David?”

~ last words of notable Burham resident King Charles the spaniel

Burnham-on-Sea (Latin prefix: Radiatominous Burhaminous Exinferri) is a town in Somerset, England, at the mouth of the River Parrett and Bridgwater Bay. Burnham remained a small village until the late 18th century, but is now a popular seaside resort. It forms part of the parish of Burnham-on-Sea and Highbridge.

Recent estimates put the overall population at around 25,003, not including those residents who exist in both Burnham-on-Sea & its parallel dimensions (see below.) If these were included the true figure could extend to a number never before encountered. No, seriously, I can't even guess as to what that number would look like, it might be blue & smell like wet dog, or it could look & sound like Martin Bashir, I really have no idea.


The settlement of Burnham-on-Sea lies on the Somerset coast of the United Kingdom. Technically not part of this quantum dimension, the town is perched between Narnia & a universe known simply as 'Weston Pierland' - a universe now known to have been almost totally destroyed in a large fire started by drunken Wizards on crack. Its probably a dutchy or a protectorate of Bertrand Russell, I really can't be bothered to find out.

The Town[edit]

Comprising of 9 fish markets, 2 lighthouses & a Snooker revenge weapon facility, Burnham-on-Sea is a marvel of modern day living. 63 Railway's connect the town with the wider world, including the experimental 'MDDTLRS' (Moonbase Delivery Diesel Train Launch & Recovery System) which of course allows the towns residents to travel to Russia via the Moon, thus bipassing the need to travel through France.


The Annual GDP of Burnham-on-Sea is approximately 13 to 345 French Dollars, depending on how much coffee I spilt on the stats paperwork. Its main exports include Coal, Moon Saphires, Cardboard Cutouts of Gary Glitter, Recycled Condoms & Unriched Uranium.