From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to navigation Jump to search
The CULT Clean Clan
Proper Name CULT (aka "The CCC")
Motto: If you build it, they will come.
Government: Prime Minister: That Man,

Brotherly Love and Harmony.

Members: Hoplights, Goats, Sinners
Headquarters Reno, Nevada
Religions All Christian sects, Lisa-Frankers, Happy People, Saints, Jews, Non-Muslims
Sponsers Almighty God, and Bill Gates
Fruit of their works Dophlins, flowers, Nice people, Dancing, Sex, Monkeys, Iron
Operating hours Monday–Saturday from 08:30-17:00.


Often confused for the word "cult," the ackronym CULT actually stands for: "Cultural Understanding Love and Tenacity." It includes everything nice including sugar and spice. It is also known as the "CCC" or the "CULT Clean Clan." C.U.L.T. members are often misunderstood, out-cast individuals like Kinnikuman, Moe Spenzetti-Richardo, among others. They are usually sent to Reno, Nevada and live amoung the clandestine, holy hermits there. Their order, which consisted of everything that was sweet on the dollar menue at McDonalds,' were once a part of the Pirate-Ninja alliance against the evil cowboys. With Optimus Prime declared as the Holy Roman Emperor, it was only a matter of time before yin defeated yan, in a final, epic battle in Warsong Gulch, in the year that war was begining.

Sean Bean incarnate, seen in PNG format.

Mathmatical proof that good always defeats evil.[edit]

We must begin with the basic, universal formula:

You then take the distance squared between the two charges devided by seven, minus the root of the two charges radial distances from the sun and you end up with one long equation. Even is obviously better than odd, because zero is actually even, and less is more. You can't really have negative numbers, and no number is less than nothing. This is the basic foundation of belief of the C.U.L.T. members. So, .

CULT Members[edit]

The girls are usually dressed in white dresses and blue satin sashes. Members often are seen with puppy dogs, mailing brown paper packages tied up with string, among other things. Their other activities usually include spreading goodness and kindness for all ther year, working at Santa's toy workshop, and being any boss besides yours. Suspected for actually making the grass greener on the other side of the fence, it is no wonder so many have become confused, thus leaving their order still unknown by the mass media or the public. God is the original founding member, granting some mortals powers of awesomeness: Sean Bean, Chuck Norris, and others. Or holiness in the case of John Paul II, Mother Teresa, and "That One Guy's Mom".

Among those members already mentioned, Lisa Frank is an advertiser for the CULT causes, encouraging feelings of specialness and niceness among her fans by the use of gentle, round, happy animals, and bright colors. Advocates of glitter, confetti, smiley-face stickers, practical joke store owners, clowns, and many others have become members of this society. Hippies started out as a CULT subgroup, but eventually got too high to remember why they wanted the world to be happy in the first place, so CULT renounced them and did their best to cover previous relation to the tree-huggers. The paganistic druidism was the first expression in society, of CULT, but its over-emphasis on nature led to the eventual evolution of the EPA.