Cabin A. Smokesy
Cabin A. Smokesy was a famous English poet of the 13th century. He was born in Fagsdale, England on June the 8th, 1312 out of the anus of his mother, Debra S. Smokesy. Shorty after Cabin's birth, his mother became ill and choked on her own vomit, causing her to suffocate and die.
Cabin A. Smokesy was thus raised by his father, James R. Smokesy. James was one of the first few English men who started playing the legendary game, scrabble. James R. Smokesy was also the founder of the E.E.L.S aka The Excellent English League of Scrabble. Cabin was usually left alone at home to play with wooden dolls while has father played scrabble by day and night. James R. Smokesy died of heart failure on the evening of April 27th, 1314. 7 letter pieces from the game scrabble were found in his lungs and liver.
After the death of Cabin's father, Cabin had no choice but to walk to the Great Wall of China and to prey for his life and future. After 6 and a half years of meaningful preying, Cabin became a junior Chinese monk at China Monk High in Shanghai. There, Cabin studied for a chinese high school education. Although he had trouble in home economics and high level math, Cabin was able to graduate and receive his high school educational degree.
On August the 9th of 1326, Cabin A. Smokesy walked back to his home town of Fagsdale and met his great grandfather. The great grandfather was found frozen the next day on the 10th; he did not sleep with a blanket. The death of his great grandfather (name unverified) inspired cabin to become a poet. He was also inspired to write about strange deaths in his poetry.
Cabin's first poem apeared in the march issue of Rolling Stone magazine in 1346. The poem was titled "Life Sucks Balls". The poem is said to be about a man with a very peculiar life and how things around him were terrible. Historians now believe this poem was a metaphor for his own life. However, some argue this poem is related to the King Arthur Conspiracy of 1256 and has no relevance to the life of Cabin A. Smokesy.
"Life Sucks Balls" was admired and looked up to by most of the population of England. Cabin A. Smokesy was awarded the Nobel Dumbass Prize the following year for "Life Sucks Balls" and he also got his picture taken with the queen of England, Queen McDoofus.
On the evening of August the 4th 1348, Cabin A. Smokesy was shot in his SUV on the way home from a Mike Tyson boxing match in downtown Fagsdale. He was accompanied by his poetry label assistant, Harry.
The autopsy showed Cabin died of impotence and 46 bullet wounds to the head and 12 bullet wounds to the belly button. At the scene of the crime a CAR15 machine gun was found as well as a half used bottle of Viagra and Baby Ruth candy bar wrappers.
The funeral of Cabin A. Smokesy was held after the autopsy on August the 13 1348. 4 people attended.
The death of Cabin A. Smokesy is now disputed by historians all over the world. Some say Cabin's assistant Harry shot him. Others disagree and say the Nazi's, in agreement with the Bush Administration, assasinated him because he knew top secret missions being carried out by the Bush Administration. People found the date of Cabin A. Smokesy's death to be very peculiar since it was the fourth of August. August is the eighth month, and if you subtract four from eight you get four. What happened to Cabin A. Smokesy will be kept secret or people will never know.
Cabin A. Smokesy's infamous poem "Life Sucks Balls" is now studied in 14 languages and 3 dialects in southern Cambodia. Although the translations will never be perfect, the honor of studying a truly great English poet is what people learn his poem for.
A building was also raised in 1678 as a memorial of Cabin A. Smokesy and his work of art. The International Cabin A. Smokesy Museum was set up in the marshes of Fagsdale. The original copy of "Life Sucks Balls" now rests in the museum along with the chair Cabin A. Smokesy sat in and put out his cigarattes on.
The work of Cabin A. Smokesy is an inspiration to all and he is respected all over the world.