Car manufacturers

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American vehicles[edit]

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For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about Car manufacturers.
Chrysler
Company Has Recommended You Should Learn Engine Repair
Dodge
Dodge Scapegoat replaces Aries and RAM models
Daily Overhauls Do Get Exhausting
Dead Once Dealer's Guarantee Expires
Aries
Automobiles Rusted In Every Section
Neon
New Engines Often Needed
Mopar
Move Over, People Are Racing
Plymouth
Please Let Your Mom Out (from) Under The Hood
Jeep
Just Enough Engine Power
Just Empty Every Pocket
GM
Government Motors
GMC
Gas Mileage's Crappy
Garage's Main Customer
Get My Coveralls
Gay Man's Cruiser
Buick
Big Ugly Import-Car Killer
Vlad the Impala
Chevy
Cheap Heap Eats Valves Yearly
Can Hear Every Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips
Cracked Heads, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time
Pontiac
Poor Old Numbnuts Thinks It's A Cadillac
Torana
Tow Old Rubbish Away. Never Argue!
Fordsux.jpg
Ford
Fix Or Repair Daily
Follow Our Rusty Dogsled
Fucked on Race Day
Flatulent Odors Routinely Discharged
(in reverse: Driver Returns On Foot)
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
For Our Retarded Daughter
Escort
Evidently Someone Can't Obtain Reliable Transportation
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Pinto
Powerful Incendiary Neatly Toasts Occupants
Put In Nickel To Operate
Ralph Nader test-drives the Pinto

European vehicles[edit]

Audi
Another Ugly Deutsche Invention
Always Unsafe Designs Implemented
Moneywaster.jpg
BMW
Bastard Moving Wrecklessly
Brings Me Women
Black Man's Wheels
Bavarian Manure Wagon
Ferrari
Found Everywhere Really Rich Annoying Retards Inhabit
FIAT
Fehler in Allen Teilen
For Italians, Adequate Technology
Fix It Again, Tony
Failed Italian Automotive Technology
Lada
Left At Dump, Abandoned
Lotus
Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious
Mercedes
Most Expensive, Ridiculous Car Ever Driven by European Snobs
Porsche
Proof Of Rich Spoiled Cunts Having Everything
Renault
Rebuilt Engine, New Axles, Usually Lousy Transmission
Retarded Engine, No Acceleration, Ugly Lump of Trash
Saab
Sorry, Auto Always Broken
Vw-nazi.jpg
VW
Virtually Worthless
Mini
My, I'm Nearly Invisible!
Motor Is Not Included
Volvo
Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object

Japanese vehicles[edit]

Datsun
Decrepit And Temperamental, Seems Useless Now
Honda
Hold On, Not Done Accelerating!
Accord
Another Crumpled Car On Road, Dead
Civic
Completely Insipid Village Idiot's Car
Mitsubishi (a/k/a Bitzamissin)
Many Innovations To Suck Unsuspecting Buyers Into Some Hellish Invention
Might In Theory Seem Usable, But Is (a) Simply Hideous Import
Multiple Impact Tests Show Unprecedented Breakage, Is (a) Simply Horrible Investment
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Toyota
The One You Ought To Avoid
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KIA
Killed In Accident
Korean Imitation Automobile