Car manufacturers
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American vehicles[edit]
- Chrysler
- Company Has Recommended You Should Learn Engine Repair
- Dodge
- Daily Overhauls Do Get Exhausting
- Dead Once Dealer's Guarantee Expires
- Aries
- Automobiles Rusted In Every Section
- Neon
- New Engines Often Needed
- Mopar
- Move Over, People Are Racing
- Plymouth
- Please Let Your Mom Out (from) Under The Hood
- Jeep
- Just Enough Engine Power
- Just Empty Every Pocket
- GM
- Government Motors
- GMC
- Gas Mileage's Crappy
- Garage's Main Customer
- Get My Coveralls
- Gay Man's Cruiser
- Buick
- Big Ugly Import-Car Killer
- Chevy
- Cheap Heap Eats Valves Yearly
- Can Hear Every Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips
- Cracked Heads, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time
- Pontiac
- Poor Old Numbnuts Thinks It's A Cadillac
- Torana
- Tow Old Rubbish Away. Never Argue!
- Ford
- Fix Or Repair Daily
- Follow Our Rusty Dogsled
- Fucked on Race Day
- Flatulent Odors Routinely Discharged
- (in reverse: Driver Returns On Foot)
- Fast Only Rolling Downhill
- For Our Retarded Daughter
- Escort
- Evidently Someone Can't Obtain Reliable Transportation
- Pinto
- Powerful Incendiary Neatly Toasts Occupants
- Put In Nickel To Operate
Ralph Nader test-drives the Pinto
European vehicles[edit]
- Audi
- Another Ugly Deutsche Invention
- Always Unsafe Designs Implemented
- Ferrari
- Found Everywhere Really Rich Annoying Retards Inhabit
- FIAT
- Fehler in Allen Teilen
- For Italians, Adequate Technology
- Fix It Again, Tony
- Failed Italian Automotive Technology
- Lada
- Left At Dump, Abandoned
- Lotus
- Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious
- Mercedes
- Most Expensive, Ridiculous Car Ever Driven by European Snobs
- Porsche
- Proof Of Rich Spoiled Cunts Having Everything
- Renault
- Rebuilt Engine, New Axles, Usually Lousy Transmission
- Retarded Engine, No Acceleration, Ugly Lump of Trash
- Saab
- Sorry, Auto Always Broken
- Mini
- My, I'm Nearly Invisible!
- Motor Is Not Included
- Volvo
- Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
Japanese vehicles[edit]
- Datsun
- Decrepit And Temperamental, Seems Useless Now
- Honda
- Hold On, Not Done Accelerating!
- Accord
- Another Crumpled Car On Road, Dead
- Civic
- Completely Insipid Village Idiot's Car
- Mitsubishi (a/k/a Bitzamissin)
- Many Innovations To Suck Unsuspecting Buyers Into Some Hellish Invention
- Might In Theory Seem Usable, But Is (a) Simply Hideous Import
- Multiple Impact Tests Show Unprecedented Breakage, Is (a) Simply Horrible Investment
- Toyota
- The One You Ought To Avoid
- KIA
- Killed In Accident
- Korean Imitation Automobile
