Car manufacturers

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American vehicles[edit]

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Chrysler
Company Has Recommended You Should Learn Engine Repair
Dodge
Dodge Scapegoat replaces Aries and RAM models
Daily Overhauls Do Get Exhausting
Dead Once Dealer's Guarantee Expires
Aries 
Automobiles Rusted In Every Section
Neon 
New Engines Often Needed
Mopar 
Move Over, People Are Racing
Plymouth 
Please Let Your Mom Out (from) Under The Hood
Jeep 
Just Enough Engine Power
Just Empty Every Pocket
GM 
Government Motors
GMC 
Gas Mileage's Crappy
Garage's Main Customer
Get My Coveralls
Gay Man's Cruiser
Buick 
Big Ugly Import-Car Killer
Vlad the Impala
Chevy 
Cheap Heap Eats Valves Yearly
Can Hear Every Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips
Cracked Heads, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time
Pontiac 
Poor Old Numbnuts Thinks It's A Cadillac
Torana 
Tow Old Rubbish Away. Never Argue!
Fordsux.jpg
Ford 
Fix Or Repair Daily
Follow Our Rusty Dogsled
Fucked on Race Day
Flatulent Odors Routinely Discharged
(in reverse: Driver Returns On Foot)
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
For Our Retarded Daughter
Escort 
Evidently Someone Can't Obtain Reliable Transportation
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Pinto 
Powerful Incendiary Neatly Toasts Occupants
Put In Nickel To Operate
Ralph Nader test-drives the Pinto

European vehicles[edit]

Audi 
Another Ugly Deutsche Invention
Always Unsafe Designs Implemented
Moneywaster.jpg
BMW 
Bastard Moving Wrecklessly
Brings Me Women
Black Man's Wheels
Bavarian Manure Wagon
Ferrari
Found Everywhere Really Rich Annoying Retards Inhabit
FIAT 
Fehler in Allen Teilen
For Italians, Adequate Technology
Fix It Again, Tony
Failed Italian Automotive Technology
Lada 
Left At Dump, Abandoned
Lotus 
Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious
Mercedes 
Most Expensive, Ridiculous Car Ever Driven by European Snobs
Porsche 
Proof Of Rich Spoiled Cunts Having Everything
Renault 
Rebuilt Engine, New Axles, Usually Lousy Transmission
Retarded Engine, No Acceleration, Ugly Lump of Trash
Saab 
Sorry, Auto Always Broken
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VW 
Virtually Worthless
Mini 
My, I'm Nearly Invisible!
Motor Is Not Included
Volvo 
Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object

Japanese vehicles[edit]

Datsun 
Decrepit And Temperamental, Seems Useless Now
Honda 
Hold On, Not Done Accelerating!
Accord 
Another Crumpled Car On Road, Dead
Civic 
Completely Insipid Village Idiot's Car
Mitsubishi (a/k/a Bitzamissin) 
Many Innovations To Suck Unsuspecting Buyers Into Some Hellish Invention
Might In Theory Seem Usable, But Is (a) Simply Hideous Import
Multiple Impact Tests Show Unprecedented Breakage, Is (a) Simply Horrible Investment
Toy-yoda.jpg
Toyota 
The One You Ought To Avoid
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KIA 
Killed In Accident
Korean Imitation Automobile