Carrie Fisher

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Its Carrie Fisher, man.

Carrie Frances Fisher was born on October 21-22, 1956 B.C., a long time ago, in a galaxy far far away. There has been some controversy over the exact day, the reason being that she was born 2 seconds before and after midnight. Fisher is an American actress, who got her start in the 1973 hit "Me, Myself, and Irene" later simply "Irene".

Fisher has lived two lives, in which the first she drunk, gambled, and died, in the second, (Which she lived on her second birthday years,) she went to Church, believed in the Lord, read her Bible, and drank her milk. She never admitted to this truth, but interviews with her grandparents, (Who were Jewish immigrants from Russia) have proved otherwise.

Early life[edit]

Fisher grew up in her hometown of California, the daughter of Darth Vader and Debbie Reynolds. Her parents divorced when she was two years (give or take a second) old and adopted by Eddie Fisher. Her real father went on to marry Elizabeth Tailor, of hemming fame, and her mother married Karl, leader of an infamous chain gang. Fisher was constantly trying to follow in the footsteps of her parents, which became especially embarrassing on trips to the grocery store. Soon she was on her way to Hollywood fame.

When Carrie turned 21, she celebrated her birthday by auditioning for Star Wars, which became a success, nevertheless, a space-opera.

Intersting Crap[edit]

We have decided to put down a list of all the intersting things about Carrie Fisher:

yes, well...


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Fisher got the part of Princess Leia. Though what she really wanted was the part of Han Solo. Starring alongside Fisher were Mark Hamil, Peter Cushing, "Smart" Alec Guinness, and Harrison Ford. (Son of Gerald R. Ford, founder of Ford Automobiles.)

During the late 1970s, the actress became addicted to various drugs, many have noted that this was the reason she tried out for the Empire Strikes Back. The most serious of these addictions included strawberry jam, milk, and cracked corn. She was nearly fired from her job at Starbucks for slipping milk into certain brews. This is how the Latte was formed, and soon many customers were ordering this "special". She cleaned up her act in 1980, and soon joined N.A. and A.A. Milne.

She soon took up ping-pong, having heard it can prevent cancer.

She's really let herself go in Middle Age!

In 1981, Fisher had enough money to give up her career and live luxuriously, but she was tricked into "Return of the Star Wars VI: The babe wears a bikini and that's pretty much it", which had fans of the series up in arms with Lucasfilm and George Lucas for the amount of minority stars in the movies, especially Ewoks and Billy-Dee Williams, whom we will not discuss.

About this time Geroge and her had their illegitimate child Hayden Christensen in 1981 and adopted him out to a Canadian couple, presumably two moose in disguise.

Fisher wrote a novel in 1986, "Bread and Jam for Frances" which was obviously based off of events from her own life, such as her addictions. The book won 13 Emmy awards for its nominal bestselling.

Over the next few years, Fisher starred with many people, including Harrison Ford, Alec Guinness, and Mark Hamil.

After a lull in her career for many years she went to Japan and became a sumo wrestler, in 2005 a new documentary of her life as a Sumo Wrestler called Scream was made by fans of the Star Wars films.

Fisher died in 2077 when she choked on popcorn at the premiere of the Star Wars 100th Anniversary Edition.

Carrie Fisher Facts[edit]

  • Fisher, despite her name, hates fishing.
  • When she was young, Carrie met vampire Bob Hope, who inspired her to do her best.
  • Carrie's favorite foods are: hot chocolate, pizza, apples and upside-down cake.
  • Carrie's hobbies include: eating, reading, and letting herself go.
  • Fisher's favorite actor is Jackie Chan.
  • Height: originally 7'6", lost 2 feet though during a sudden hyperspace jump of the Millennium Falcon.
  • Weight: 50lbs in 1977 (mostly in butt), 130lbs in 1984, 210lbs and going up since and is down to 186lbs.
  • Vital Statistics: 34-16-34 in 1977, 35-28-35 in 1984, 36-infinite-36 later on.
  • Has a habit of suing anyone who steals her metal bikini idea from Return of the Jedi.
  • Fisher has been married to Paul Simon-Fisher. She later married Han Ford, who had changed his name from Bo to Han.