Cartoon Movie

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  • Toony but Tough
  • Looney Tunes just got loonier
Writers Karl Marx
Producers Josef Stalin, Gordon Brown
Director Tony Blair
Runtime Eighty (80) minutes
Language English, Pathetic
Distributed by PBS
IMDb rating

Cartoon Movie is a 2012 film and yet another crap film by the big-headed producers of Scary Movie who have peanuts for brains. Unlike their other films however, this is the first film to be wholly animated rather than live-action, and stars actual cartoon characters.


The film is set in a world called Cartoonland where all the inhabitants are sexually frustrated and overtly annoying cartoon characters. The main character is Captain Mac O'Damia, a squirrel in the Cartoonland Army who is constantly being pushed around by others, including civilians.

Whilst on forest patrol, Mac finds a metal ball (Pokemon) that spurts out a small piece of paper that is indecipherable. Curious, he returns to his home in the Water Tower (Animaniacs) to translate it.

Having spent sixteen full hours trying every form of language and decipher code known to man, Mac has finally translated the script and reads it aloud. Instantly, everything distorts. A huge bulge appears in his trousers, the room melts and everything changes colour. If you are seeing any of these images right now, don't worry, it's just the LSD they put in the popcorn.

Mac awakes, and finds that he is now alone in Cartoonland, and so decides to mess around now that he is finally alone (Drawn Together). But after a while, Mac soon knows that something is wrong, and begins to wander Cartoonland to find out what is going on.

Eventually, his trail of clues and dog turds leads to a large pineapple below sea-level (Spongebob Squarepants). Entering it carefully, Mac discovers the pineapple to be a large warehouse, and all of the cartoon characters are being kept inside indestructible glass tubes (Teen Titans). The doors slam shut, and the villain is revealed in full, Mickey Mouse (Drawn Together).

Mickey claims to have found a number of spells in an old book (Danny Phantom) filled with little metal balls for no apparent reason, and plans on draining all cartoon characters of their energies to make himself the most powerful toon in the Universe (Pinky and the Brain).

Mac pulls out the spell he found in the woods, and uses it against Mickey. The plan works, and the tubes shatter into a thousand pieces. Mickey rots to death in slow motion in front of everyone, and Cartoonland is saved. Mac gets laid by Bugs Bunny as a result, and the film ends with the traditional Looney Tunes ending.

Porky and announces the end of yet another crap film.


Like most crap films, Cartoon Movie 2 came out three days later in 2020, and whilst everybody who saw it seemed genuinely stupid enough to actually watch it in the first place, the movie made a hell of a lot of money at the box office anyway.

Cartoon Movie 3 followed shortly after in 2025, and was responsible for almost destroying the career of Sonic the Hedgehog, but thanks to Sonic's quick-thinking and massive smearing campaign against the movie, he was saved.


NOTE: All the cartoon characters listed here are played by themselves and not by actors, which is why the list is kinda one-sided.

Cartoons Parodied[edit]