Celebrity Nipples

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Celebrity Nipples (strawberry color)

Most female celebrities have made public spectacles of themselves as they sunbathe, swim, or conduct other activities in the nude. Others, although they may seem chaste in their public behavior, have no qualms about baring it all for the big screen. So many actresses have displayed their nakedness that a popular commodity has become glimpses of parts of their breasts, their nipples, or the lower halves of their (crescent) moons (i. e,. buttocks). Called, in the business, "nip slips," "upskirts," "candid shots," and "oops" pictures, these photographs are frequently viewed the casual Internet surfer. Now, Carver Upp, an innovative plastic surgeon, has teamed up with Tee Tee Mulder, a sculptor, to offer for sale to the general public a line of celebrity nipples.

Based on thousands of feet of film showing bare celebrity breasts, on magazine and tabloid snapshots of accidental nipple displays, and on computer-simulated fantasies, the product, Celebrity Nipples, can make the nipples of any woman (or, for that matter, any man--"we are an equal opportunity supplier," Dr. Upp says) look like those of the celebrity--actress, athlete, singer, politician, or whoever--of her (or his) choice.

Particularly popular are Celebrity Nipples resembling those of Katie Holmes, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Pamela Anderson, Jessica Simpson, Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Ashley Judd, Paris Hilton, Sarah Michelle Gellar, and (for some odd reason) Helen Hunt.

Available in Bronze Age Brown, Burnt Umber, Chocolate Mousse, Mellow Yellow, and Strawberry Pink, there is a Celebrity Nipple for everyone and, it is rumored, some celebrities have purchased a set or two of their own nipples, either out of vanity or as gag gifts. Gellar, for example, is said to wear a "perky pair" of her own nipples on her biceps or outer thigh. "You should see the looks I get," the relatively flat-chested actress said, beaming. "I wish Freddie would show the same level of interest in me as passersby do when they see my Celebrity Nipples on display. If he did, we might have a child by now."