Celine Dionide

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Celine Dionide (pronounced SAY-leen DEE-uh-nide) is an element discovered in 1809 by This Guy somewhere in the netherworld of The United States of Canada. It was later claimed to have been invented by Arthur C. Clarke, although these claims are debatable and a highly controversial topic among scientists.

While conclusive scientific experimentation on laboratory mice has yet to yield any results, certain humans who have been accidentally exposed to Celine Dionide for extended periods of time have demonstrated several unusual traits not present before their encounter with the substance. The most frequently observed symptom, and indeed the only generally agreed upon one, is the gradual decay into a lovesick pop star with an exceptionally strong respirational system. The one unfortunate side effect of this is that all eardrums located within a 50-mile radius will simultaneously combust on exposure to an infected person singing.

Another commonly noted side effect is exposed persons suddenly claiming that all of a sudden they feel alive, only to be subsequently followed by their premature death. However, scientists are not yet in 100% agreement, and currently available statistics are rather dubious.

Celine Dionide, despite the similar-sounding name, is of absolutely no relation whatsoever to Celine Dion.

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