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Selected anniversaries

January 22: National Cover-Up Day (USA)

  • 1012 - The second coming did not happen.
  • 1492 - Nothing happened. You didn't see anything, so it doesn't count.
  • 1776 - The United States of America was always unquestionably free.
  • 1812 - We had reasonable cause to attack.
  • 1847 - The United States retaliated against a Mexican surprise attack.
  • 1861 - The United States was always united.
  • 1917 - The United States irrefutably wins World War I in late-inning heartstopper.
  • 1945 - The United States irrefutably wins World War II in extra time. Germans claim the ball had not crossed the line. England don't care.
  • 1965 - The United States irrefutably wins the Vietnam War in seven games.
  • 1974 - President Nixon finishes out his "optional" term of office.
  • 2001 - Heavy winds cause the World Trade Center towers to weaken.
  • 2003 - The United States irrefutably wins the War in Iraq in a 4-game whitewash.
  • 2005 - It is the policy of this Administration not to discuss ongoing investigations.
  • 2006 - Global Warming? What Global Warming?
  • 2007 - There is no Grand Conspiracy.
  • 2012 - The world will not end.
  • 9999 - Nothing will happen. Quite boring.

Archived Anniversaries

Things happening in the rest of the world, which didn't make us a profit.


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  • ...that the amount of cats in the area is directly proportionate to the distance from the Hot Dog factory?


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Banker of the Month

Writer of the month.png
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


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Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


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It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



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