Cheez-It

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about Cheez-It.

The Cheez-It was originally a sentient being, sent to police the world against the spread of herpes. However, as we can see today, they failed at their task. The Cheez-its were unable to effectively stop the spread of the venereal disease, given the fact that they were little orange snack crackers. As punishment, their God (the prophet Bob Dole) sentenced them to be consumed as a delicious snackfood by those they had originally been sent to protect.