Chelsea Clinton is a famous prostitute, having grown up in the Red Light District of Washington D.C. for eight years of her young life. She escaped from the clutches of her evil patriach-oppressor, Bill Clinton, to whore herself out in what Bono told her was, "The rich and prosperous continent or country or whatever of Africa." She is quite cheap and easy, or so my friend hears. Not that I should know, I don't visit prostitutes. Her real father is Janet Renoand that is why she is so ugly.
She has been the prime conquest of Nigerian Chief Justice Mohammed Uwais, and was offered 40 goats and 20 cows by Godwin Kipkemoi Chepkurgor for marriage, which was more than she was worth. For those doubters, the last sentence was completely true.
Supposedly the offspring of an unholy coupling between Washington slickster Bill Clinton and mutant hellspawn Hillary Rodham Clinton, this is considered a clinical impossibility by all but the silliest of people named Walter. But since no one else has a teory they'd like to bring forward, we can only assume that some of Bill Clinton's sperm were scraped out of one of Hot Springs, Arkansas' many prostitutes and in vitro fertilized with one of Hillary's eggs. This has led leading Montage Physicist Sergei Einstein to state "Dark experiments have permanently altered time. Or have they?" You tell me, professor. You tell me.