“Keep a chicken child alive”
Chickenmen (U er M O th r) are prehistoric beings from the Penisastic era and are said to be as tall as 8372 inches tall. Chcikenmen are the most umhappy of all species because there are no chickenwomen to relieve them of there 50 pounds of semen. However, they lasted prosperly in great numbers until the great buchering of 1952 at the great imperial capitol of the universe, Kentuckycourasant. Today, little as 3.452 still survive acting as parisitacal creatures that consume human lifeforce.
In 9594 BC during the penisastic era the great chicken men discovered and invented the five founding cornerstones of human living: beer, Football, your mom, and chuck Norris and prostitution. Most chicken men lived in huts made of crap and fried remains of cavemen. there main food source were any object that comes out the south end of a northern bound living object.
- Your mom's house
- The legend of Zelda: Link Get's High
- New York
- That place that's jusssst next to hell but not quite
- Bow chica bow wow
- Darth Al Gore city
King of the Chickenmen
The Chicken Empire was made in a day unlike the romans who were to busy touching themselves to do it all in one day. unfortuantly, the old king died of AIDS (no knows why, because there are no chickenwomen) and thus prompted the chicken men to create the perfect biological being using there highly advanced science and technology facilites. after finding the perfect woman to carry the child, Virgin Mary, they used a tube to administer the sperm. Or a nameless chickman and mary were both very drunk after one of Jerusalem's famous rave parties and made love.
We'll never know for sure... but hooray! So thus Jesus was born to rule all lower human life and the chickenmen! ALL HAIL JESUS! and technically, Mary was still a virgin.... to humans.
Chicken Men had many great leaders after Jesus was cruisified and eaten:
- Albert the Great
- Your mom
- Jesus 2: the resurection
- Jesus 3: the comeback!
- Chuck Norris
- Darth Vader
- The Ori
- George W. Bush
- Cocky Osbourne
- The San Diego Chicken
- Chicken Lady
The End of Chicken Rule
The Battle of Kentuckycourasant
It started in 1952 and lasted until 1993 in a run down restaurant on Kentuckycourasant. Darth Colonel Sanders and his trusty triple barreled M16 met up with some 10,000,000,000 Chickenmen who he had asked out on a date. Of course, the chickenmen seeing that they were being fooled with, attacked the colonel. after 4 short seconds, all but 3.452 chickenmen were left.
The Neighboring townsfolk promptly ate the dead flesh of the chickenmen and declared colonel sanders the best Kentucky fried chicken chef in the universe.
The survivors of the great war evolved into parasites the size of humans and feed mostly on young high school children that work for fried chicken fast food joints. This explains why the damn chicken suit you always wear for work is so damn hot. get a new job, preferably sooner than later.
The Great Comeback
In the year 2094, the chickenmen deevolved back into a chicken man form. To celebrate, 5 chicken men played the song My Way at the Rose Quarter stadium. During the very last note the lead vocals bit of a pidgeon's head. The Chicken man responsible for biting of the pidgeon's head, Cocky Osbourne, was sentenced to death for canabalism and copyright infrigments. This ended the great chicken men comeback and cursed them to a life of slavery and fastfood service until WWII