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“I ain't no smokin' chick”

~ Tamia on smoking
For those without comedic tastes, the self-proclaimed experts at Wikipedia have an article about Chicks.
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The Misconception[edit]

A Chick.
Let's talk about chicks, man.

The term Chicks, in reference to a woman, came from the French word chic. The mispronunciation came from the Americans when they were reading a French newspaper with a picture of a woman and the word chic were in close proximity to one another. Chicks can also refer to baby chickens. Americans are naturally petifies to baby barnyard animals. Chicks are their 2nd favourite baby animal to molest while sheep remains their 1st choice. Americans have also compared the taste of the vagina of a woman to that of a chicken. The lesser Americans known as Canadians however do not screw chicks as previously believed. They prefer Canadian geese. During the harsh Canadian winters, the geese have been know to seek refuge in the United States of America or they try to ride it out and pose as chickens until Spring.

The Camps[edit]

The poor bastards didn't see it coming

Colonel Sanders seized control of Czechania in 1915 after going AWOL from the US Army. The Colonel saw the opportunity to brainwash the helpless refugee chicks as they fled from the Chicken Riots in Soviet Russia. The chicks that had too strong of a will were sent to concentration camps in America along with the children that were captured in the illegal trade route that Charles Walgreen had set up for his drug habit. At the camps the chicks were raped, tortured, and raped again by their American captors. After the chicks became of age to be classified as an adult chicken, they were burned along side children in cremation chambers to dispose of any evidence of fowl play. Few chicks, if any, made it out alive.

America in WWIII[edit]

$2 sucky sucky

Vietnam was a great turning point on how chicks would be portrayed for a new generation of horny American GIs. Tales of Asian chicks sucking cock for 2 American dollars had reached the American Media and by popular vote the Draft was reinstated. The Americans were getting their cocks sucked by Czechanians chicks for free but the thought of being with an Asian chick was impossible to pass up. When the soldiers got to South Vietnam they realized how fucking screwed they were. The Asian chicks just so happen to be Asian women. The misinterpretation had foiled the Americans again and to the horror of the Americans, the cocks that were being sucked were adult male chickens. With troubled spirits and unholy night terrors, the Americans surrendered to Mao Zedong and applied for jobs at the local Wal★Mart never to be seen again. The soldiers were demoted to Inspectors and were given Numbers instead of names. You may see signs of this when you purchase underwear and the soldier leaves a plea for help by listing his Inspector Number.

Biological Warfare[edit]

A chick on meth before the loss of teeth.

Charles Walgreen knew that the only way to keep his illegal trade route open was to engineer a virus to cripple the United States and Canada. On one of his raids to abduct children he happened to kidnap some chicks and Canadian geese in the process. He loaded the chicks and geese up on methamphetamines laced with separate viruses. The chicks were carriers of the chickenpox and the geese were the carriers to the Avain-flu. The plan was later foiled by Sally Struthers when she mistook the chicks for women and ate them. The geese infected the Canadians as planned but their cheap prescription drugs got them through the worse of it.

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