Chinese Abortion Factories

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As many of you know, China is known as a shitty sewer country the motherland has been having population control problems. This is because the country of China has been getting an increased amount of R&B music, and the latex shortages have stopped the production of condoms, which proves once again it's all Bobby Brown's fault. The population problem that has been causing their population to surge over 1 billion people has been the country's main focus, shoving aside the starvation problems and national defence, because as we all know North Korea to the right and terrorists to the left leaves China with nothing to worry about.


Bukkake is a major contributor to the increased number of abortions. Those weekly sessions of Bukkake performed on Chinese girls lead to a unplanned pregnancies on a national scale. Since Bukkake is China's national sport, the government is unwilling to change the Bukkake constitution, which states that all Chinese males are entitled to unlimited Bukkake sessions.The Chinese men maintain a diet that is aimed to increase the amount of semen in their testicles. This diet is consisted of fruits, spices, herbs, and protein.Also drinking large quantities of water and Elmer's Glue (R).That way the Chinese girls that are involved in these weekly sessions are sure to get completely covered in Spunk.


The fact the population has been receiving the most attention in China has come up with many solutions. In fact the government of China has offered a cash reward of one million Renminbi (4 dollars). There have been many solutions some that had the potential to work and others that were well... useless.

3 child rule[edit]

This rule has been one that has been one that has been strenuously enforced through out china. The rule goes as follows "A family may have only 2 children and no more if there is a 3 child you may perform an abortion or give the child to an adoption clinic". This rule was flawed so the started amending it.

The Amendments[edit]

  1. A Family may have 3 children if at least one is a girl
  2. A family may have 3 or more children if they are worth at least a million American dollars ( 0.0000000000001%, or approximately 1,000,000,000 people, of the population)
  3. A family may have 2 children and a rat girl /boy if they live within 45 miles of a tanning factory or have travelled within a 20 mile radius of a tanning factory, if you have not and have still given birth to a rat girl/boy then contact the government and your level 12 freak show licence will be mailed to your house.

Adoption centres[edit]

This plan failed simply because Angelina Jolie could only adopt 99% of the kids in the abortion clinics which left 20 thousand kids without a home.

Abortion Factories[edit]

Abortion factories have been the only things to successfully work on the population problems.

The Methods[edit]

an abortion factory
  1. Burn the children
  2. Kill the ugly ones immediately!
  3. Hold a marathon every night and the loser gets torn apart by sharks
  4. Tear the misbehaving ones apart with golf clubs
  5. Kill them automatically when they turn 10
  6. Tell them they are going into a gas chamber fill room with smoke then run in discretely and stab all the kids
  7. Hold daily re-enactions of the St.Valentines day massacre
  8. Do testing to prove/disapprove the existence of souls
  9. Do a myth busters type series without buster
  10. Pay Helen Keller to attempt to read her life story. (Death by boredom shall ensue immediately)
  11. "Bakeries" are always good ideas
  12. Have them go into a bar in the bible belt asking for a water
  13. Cleavlend steamers will serve multiple purposes

The Controversy[edit]

This method of killing children has cause great controversy in hippy community. PETA has attempted many protests but the conveniently placed vat filled with acid has always tipped over and killed the crowd. The government has ruled the vat tipping a simple accident. Luckily for the abortion factories logging is at an all time high so all the activist groups are currently busy.