Chinese food

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Chinese food is the primary sustainance for most low to middle class westerners. The combination of cat, rice, MSG and low low prices is what attracts these lower classes to Chinese food. Chinese food is also known as "chinq fodder", "squinty tucker" and "shit like a baby"

Little known facts[edit]

-Colonel Sanders honorably served under the great General Tso in the franchise wars of 1966.

-Yes, that is Garfield on your chop sticks.

-Despite claims by the Chinese the British were the first to create Chinese food everyone knows you can't trust a chinamen.

-Chinese people are often made to work in Chinese restaurants simply because of the irony.

-Chinese people working in a Chinese restaurant is similar to Indians working in a curry restaurant.

-There is a big difference between rice and wice.

-Chop sticks are made from the bones of Chinese child slaves who have fallen into plastic crap making machines

How Chinese food was born?[edit]

Chinese food was invented in Britain during the great rice floods (rice was swept up in a storm over vietnam and rained down over Britain) of 1956. There was a huge excess of rice (several people drowned), The King ordered his cooks to find a way to get rid of all the excess rice and also the mangy cats left over from the black plague rat eating frenzy 2 months earlier. The cooks came up with dishes such as 5, 46, 23, and the most famous dish 14. Three weeks after the general public were taught this new cuisine, rice drownings dropped by 103 percent. The King loved the dishes so much he named the new cuisine after his then girlfiend Chinq Fodder.Chinese food was born and up until this day all chinese food remains the made out of rice, mangy cat and anything that gets caught up in the rice(eg. MSG).

Why Chinese food is best[edit]

- Free prawn crackers

- It combines sweet and sour (amazing)

- It was made in Britain

- It offends the Dutch

- It offends the Chinese

- Gets rid of neighbors annoying cats

- Does something with otherwise use less rice


Animal rights groups have recently labeled Chinese chefs animalist in only cooking cats, they have demanded that other types of animals such as dogs, rats and cabbage be included in Chinese dishes as some animal families might feel left out. It has been rumored that some Chinese restaurants have already started doing this.

The dutch government banned Chinese food in 1995 stating "Chinese food is a burden to dutch society, if Dutch people keep eating Chinese food they might start to develop taste buds and Dutch Cuisine would therefore become irrelevant".

Just like everything else, the Chinese claimed they invented Chinese food. Of course just like everything else the Chinese say this is untrue. It is a well documented that the British invented Chinese food. When the Queen visited China in 1999 she tried to convince president Kim Jong Eel that the British had in fact invented Chinese food and pretty much everything else, Kim Jong then became very agitated and threw his glass of donkey semen at her. Kim Jong was immediately beheaded by Her Majesty (with her bare hands). The Chinese still bring the debate up in United Nation meetings every now and then. In 1997 at the UN conference it was deemed cruel to eat babies.