chinese toys are now conciderd one of the most dangourus epidemics ever to step foot on the ass of god (or america). now that china is making our national flag we can sit back and get fatter right? NO FUCKIN WAY! now they are getting mad and sending toys to us with deadly ions in them that contian child sperm or lead for short. this ingredient is put in everything, from dildos to toy cars. so think twice befor putting that "lead" in your mouth.
how the fuck does this affect my family?
well dipshits let me tell you about a young boy who died because he saw his mommy naked in the shower with a chinese dildo... or mabey not. many people accross the u.s. nation have been infected with a new desies that this "lead" is now trailing.
now diseases no fricken way!
yes, there is now an official disease caused by child sperm or lead. if you experience any of the following symptoms, please contact the military before its too late. symtoms include mild hunger, occasional thirst, tiredness at night, nature calling once a day, and acting like a normal human being. it may sound crazy, but over 50 million people in the u.s. have died today because of lead dildos.
how can i protect my family
here are a few suggestions on how to escape this epidemic dont go to walmart, keep your pussy away from dildos you sick fuck, make sure american made doctors masks are worn at all times (wait do we even make those), barricade your windows and doors, and avoid ALL contact with chinese toys or infected individuals.
how deadly is this epidemic
this epidemic is so bad that it is to the point where if a nuclear bomb were to drop on us one chinese toy could do 200 times more damage than 100 nuclear bombs.
history of lead
it is believed that lead was found when ben franklin was masturbaiting. when he made himself cum, it is believed that a toxin in his sperm was inflicted into the earths crust to hid away for 300 years untill the ancient romans were to discover this desiese and test it on pigs. after succesfully rapeing the pigs the ancient romans would inject the sperm into the pig, then they would eat it. literaly they were eating ben franklins kids. all of the ancient romans died exept for one who was named luke skywalker. luke rose from the bodies and hailed befor the nerd kingdom and said that the desiese will be used in toys. thus the roman sperm calender was created.
what things dont have lead in them?
how does lead travel
lead travels through people. using peoples assholes to travel from place to place. however this theory is still unsure of. the most understood theory is that it is traveling through herpes or the desiese of the hoe's. this is why half of america has this disease.
is the e.p.a. helping us
the e.p.a. or enviromental protecton agency has resigned their dutys because they have no fucking clue how to contain the viral outbreak.
when is this virus expected to calm down
when we all dead. and just a reminder. if you ever AND I MEAN EVER! SEE MADE IN CHINA WRITIN' ON ANY OF YOUR STUFF!!! OH BOY YOUR DONE!