Cho Aniki

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Cho Aniki is the codename for a pair of grinning intergalactic bodybuilders named Samson and Adon. The word is Japanese for "Super Big Brother".

"Super Big Brothers"[edit]

Long ago, in a galaxy far far away, there lived a evil emperor named Bill. Instead of conquering distant star systems by threatening to shoot them with planet-sized lasers guns and hacking people with lightsabers, he held bodybuilding contests to see who was the strongest man in the galaxy. The secret to his success was a constant supply of health bars made from muesli and dipped in white chocolate; a foodstuff he called "Protein" since he wasn't in a creative mood that time. The galactic emperor set up factories in planets he conquered to maintain a fresh supply of his favorite meal as he threatened everyone with his bulging physique.

To restore balance in the universe, God sent his emissaries: an buff soldier named Idaten and a sexy woman named Benten to destroy Emperor Bill's factories and fight the Pink helmed villain to the death.

While the pair flew towards their query in outer space, they were accompanied by a duo of out-of-work musclemen named Samson and Adon. These Super Big Brothers, with their unnaturally cheery dispositions, were out to make a name for themselves and proved useful during their mission. The speedo-wearing strongmen were able to withstand the cold squeezing harshness of space while they posed and floated around taking in laser shots for them. And when the going got tough, they flexed for a few seconds until a powerful laser shot off their heads and burned through the enemy.

After beating many of Emperor Bill's biomechanical minions, they eventually faced him, his body bigger than a planet's. The four heroes defeated him, and the fallen Emperor flew off bawling miserably for this meant that he didn't make the cut for that year's bodybuilding contest. The new winner was Idaten, with Samson and Adon catching up. The couple took their leave to get hitched, while the Big Brothers went to Hollywood to make a movie of their adventure.

"Love...Big Brother"[edit]

Samson and Adon, once again out of work, decide to get some kicks by flying around an alternate universe populated by nothing but disturbingly buff musclemen similar to them. Unlike before, the Big Brothers had this adventure by themselves; with their flexing as the only means of damaging opponents. That's right: they never punch or kick anybody, they preferred to dazzle their enemies with their far superior physiques.

With the sexy lady Benten occasionally popping in to help them, the Big Brothers got to meet and beat up rivals like Yaemon the Mantrain, a wood elemental, a buff Venus de Milo who throws eggplants (Don't ask...), and a giant metallic woman (perhaps the only feminine figure in this universe).

"Explosive Brawl"[edit]

One day, Samson and Adon decided to join up with Idaten and Benten once a week for some friendly gravity-defying sparring. Unfortunately for them, their enemies from their past adventures thought of crashing their party and beat them up to regain their pride. These weekly battles became what we called "Explosive Brawls". The battle often took place in exotic locations like a male Statue of Liberty, a garden of buff faeries and a shrine to hugging women and bobbing musclemen.

The Regular Players were:

  • Samson and Adon - they have a bad habit of sticking their toned keisters out to their opponents.
  • Idaten - His favorite move is sprinkling pixie dust and such.
  • Benten - The sexy lady has some fighting ability, but she mostly has little angel guys do the dirty work for her.
  • Bill - The former emperor enjoys showing off when he's idle, and no one underestimates him.
  • Sabu - A giant robot pagoda who thinks he's Elvis. He's into S&M, or was it the geisha that regularly pops out of him that does?
  • Nami - Like Sabu, she's a giant robotic submarine. She's piloted by three buff guys who help compensate for her inabilty to shoot torpedoes.
  • Adam - A freakin' giant nudist who rides in a moon-shaped bathtub. Apparently he has some help behind the scenes
  • Uminin - What the heck is this thing? It looks blue and rubbery, it must've sneaked in during the brawls looking for something to do.

"The Ultimate, Strongest, Most Invincible Man in the Milky Way"[edit]

Years after their run-in with Emperor Bill, Idaten and Benten were informed by God that the buff villain was rebuilding his empire, this time in the distant Milky Way Galaxy. Like before, Bill has a massive army of mutants and cyborgs. Unlike before, his muscled minions resembled crazed Asian guys in speedoes. Once again, Samson and Adon volunteered to accompany them and take on enemies like human pogosticks, seagull men, and a giant guy with a robotic octopus.

"Man's Balls"[edit]

Samson and Adon travel around the galaxy and challenged people to duels (Yep, similar to Yu-Gi-Oh) and flexing. That's it.

"Legend of the Holy Protein"[edit]

The other day, a sticky spherical being known only as the "Holy Protein" showed up in Samson and Adon's gym. It promised them sweet sweet steroids if they helped it on its way home. As usual, the musclemen were happy to oblige. They braved many dangers as they flew around the galaxy once more, fighting such foes as a disgruntled Mona Lisa, a creepy Corn on a Cob, and two raging crossdressers. Their new mission didn't stop them from taking breaks by lava bathing, eating tonnes of fried rice and extreme skydiving, though.

The Mysteries of the Cho Aniki Answered[edit]

  • Twins? - Biologically, they're not. Yet during their past adventures it was hard to tell Samson and Adon apart, since they're both bald, buff, scantily clad and grinned a lot. The only way to tell them apart was by the color of their speedoes. As time passed, Adon started to look paler and grew facial hair which made him look like a buff Gosuburo Kaiba.
  • Those Holes - The musclemen have hollow depressions on the tops of their heads which go right through their brains and their bodies, making for a very obvious euphemism should they flex their muscles. It doesn't help that their laser attack is called Men's Beam, either.
  • Lovers? - Most likely, they did admit that their preference were "men". But Samson and Adon have taken a vow of celibacy, since like all musclemen wary of their masculinity, the duo save their passion in the tide of battle.
  • Work Experience - Aside from helping Idaten and Benten, the Cho Aniki had a brief sideline working for a fat demon out to recover a powerful weapon for his boss. Samson also helped party members who needed to give an ass-kicking after fighting him in the Muscle Shrine.