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The average male chocobo at full size.

Chocobos are loosly considered the cousin of the Moogle. When approached they are extremely violent and will continuously cast Chocobockle or Magic Missile. Chocobos are believed to have come into existence after Cloud Strife's hair had a relationship with Jerry Seinfeld after copious amounts of Kitten Huffing for the both of them. This resulted in a freakish looking misshapen frog that wields a shovel. Their catch phrase "Choco" translates roughly in German to "You kick my dog". No one seems to understand the mysterious and elusive chocobo. For some reason, chocobos attacked moogles

the rare rambo chocobo

Chocobo history[edit]

1000 B.C. - Chocobos are spawned after Clouds hair and Jerry seinfeld have a relationship while Kitten Huffing. Because of the Copious ammounts of kitten huffing the offspring is mutated, and they had twins so the freaks could mate.

924 B.C. - The Ancient Myans start giving offerings to the chocobos. These offerings include baskets of Easter Eggs, n00bs, and large amounts of crack cocaine.

A simple diagram of how the Chocobo came to be

719 B.C. - After large ammounts of Crack Cocaine have been consumed the South American Chocobos they start to have their growth stunted which is the bird that is commonly known as a chicken.

98 B.C. - Julius Chocobeaser Conquers the French(ho ho! frensh!)

1 A.D. - Jesus Christobo is born ( Messiah of large birds).

1400 A.D. - King Artherbo pulls Masamune from a giant ass rock.

1492 A.D. - Christopehr Cholumcobo discovers Spira (he was a crack addict).

1756 A.D. - Chocmarican revolution ( crack addicts of Northern Spira attack Pot heads of Southerrn Spira ).


2006 A.D. - Premire of the movie "Chocobos on an Airship". Samuel L. Jackson- I'm tired of these Mother Fucking chocobs on this Mother Fucking Airship!

2007 A.D. - Grand theft Chocobo is released but is recalled because of its explicit "riding" scenes.

2008 A.D. - Dance Dance Chocobo is released and is worshiped by pediotricians all over the world for getting all of the morbidly obese kids into shape through shaking their butts in the air.

2008 A.D. - A cockatiel named Kame-Chan imitates Chocobo, and was soon after killed by an Edge city resident trying to ride it. (

2011 A.D. - Chocobo expected to become extinct due to over hunting by a group of cows from a clan called Chick-fil-A.

2050 A.D. - Chocobo population begins to skyrocket due to penis inhancing drugs being accidentally dumped into their food supply. The world is happy again and the chcocobo's run free and wild once again, their blue eyes sparkling in happiness. Until they are hunted once again because of the over population. :p

A.D. 2101 - War was beginning. Somebody have set up us the chocobomb.

2972 A.D. - The world asplodes all life ends. Cept for the Penguin Armies of Doom.

The very rare bad ass chocobo

SEE ALSO[edit]