Laxative Sun Drug
- You may be looking for LSD and not even know it!
Abusive consumption of this drug will ensue in divine wrath from the heavens and annihilation from the face of the Earth.
Laxative Sun Drug™, LSD for short, is a pharmacuetical manufactured for the inhabitants of sub-Saharan countries such as Nigeria, Sudan, and Chuck suffering from fear induced gastrointestinal disorders. It is produced by the incognito Nalax Corp. and has spurred a huge array of competitors in the budget-pharmaceutical market.
The original idea for LSD was first conceived by Walter Brush, (also known as Greg Errico, drummer of Sly and the Family Stone) founder of the SNMC and former keeper of the Third Key to the Realm of Derogation. First appearing in home-made elixirs around the turn of the century in homes of Estonian priests, the drug was claimed to come from Japetus, the fourth invisible moon of Saturn. After it was made popular by The Monkee's hit single "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds" it became popular among badgers, democrats and other assorted red-heads across America. Abuse of the drug began in the late 50s, in part due to the Great Luxembourgian Acolytes, a philosophical and experimental hippie sect.
All records for the chemistry of LSD were destroyed in the Great Chicago Firebombing of 1996, yet chemical analysis can reveal some of its composites include Hydrogen, Potassium Cyanide, Polonium 210, and Cherry Coke.
However, it may be important to note that it has been fervently argued that while LSD may treat many illnesses, it is extremely common to find that it often ends up maiming or obliterating its users (see below).
Misuse of LSD began in the late 50's after the Constipation Epidemic reached its zenith. Writers like Alvin Sullivan promoted the abuse of LSD because of its potential spiritual capabilities. Of course, this was all a large pile of nonsense and nearly everyone who has ingested large amounts of LSD has achieved zero-mass and imploded into a black hole, subsequently consuming all matter and energy within range of its suction.