Christine White

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“For the last time, no I don't know her”

~ the Evil Fairy Godmother from Shrek on Christine White

“Evil Queen, eh? I'll show her how it's done”

~ Oscar Wilde on Christine White

“And I mean that literally. I was on Christine White.”

~ Oscar Wilde on the above quote

“And pity the fool who tries to stand up to me.”

~ Christine White's Mr T impersonation

Christine Slevil-Lewis-White-Clinton, also known as Christine White, the Evil Queen or Darth Christine was an evil sorceress and one of the main contestants on the television reality show The 10th Kingdom. One of the Baddies team, she was known for being highly competative and somewhat psychopathic.

Prior to the show[edit]

Christine was born to a rich bitch in the city of New York, New York. Raised in the ways and powerful, she grew to be extremely beautiful, if a tad eccentric and at the age of 19 had her pick of any man in New York, including wealthy businessman Tony Lewis who was besotted with Christine. They soon got married and had their first and only child, a daughter called Virginia.

Just a short time later however, Tony, being a twat made a huge investment in bouncy castles which resulted in him losing a ridiculous amount of money along with his job and becoming a janitor. Anyone would be pissed off by this and as Christine was never all there to begin with, this resulted in her becoming bat fuck insane and trying to drown the now seven year old Virginia. Tony miraculously saved his daughter and Christine fled the apartment.

Life in the Nine Kingdoms[edit]

Running through Central Park, she came across the Evil Queen from Snow White who had somehow gone from being "the fairest of them all" to an old hag and who invited Christine to take part in a TV reality show called The 10th Kingdom. Christine agreed and was taken to the location, a fairytale world called The Nine Kingdoms which after a house, an island in Scotland and a jungle was actually quite original.

1000 years later, the other contestants arrived, none-other than a talking dog, a schizophrenic werewolf and Christine's daughter, Virginia and her ex-husband, Tony. During the long amount of time it took to assemble the other contestants, Christine had passed the time learning dark magic, getting married to the son of Snow White, changing her name, poisoning her husband, going to jail, breaking out and getting an army of Trolls. She now knew the Nine Kingdoms like the back of her hand and had dark powers and an army of trolls which gave her something of an unfair advantage.

During the show, Christine captivated the viewers attention grooming a lookalike of Snow White's grandson, Prince Wendell to assume the throne so that she could control the Kingdom through him. She had to compete with other populr contestants such as Virginia and Relish the Troll King. She also had a creepy Huntsman who obeyed her every whim and command. She managed to last until the last episode.

Expulsion[edit]

The final episode, Christine competed with her daughter, Virginia, for the title of Queen of the Nine Kingdoms. After getting pissed off, she tried to strangle her daughter who incapacitated her with a conveniently placed poisoned comb. After attempting to murder a contestant and also being found in possession of narcotics, Christine was expelled from the show on th grounds of mental instability.

Life after the show[edit]

Christine went on to marry Bill Clinton and change her name to Hillary. She was a candidate for President of the United States but once again her plans for world domination were thwarted.

“Curses and drat. Next time I'll have to try marrying Bill Gates.”

~ Christine White on her plans for world domination being thwarted once again.

See also[edit]